Greetings gamers !!

I wanna talk a little about requests and my presence on JAI❤️

(Important points highlighted so you can avoid the yapping)

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I will preface this by saying, This is technically a request page.

Additionally, ask me anything you are curious about and I will answer within the bounds of my boundaries ❤️

TLDR is that your request could come in a week like it could in two months because of my own issues with writing. And even if it takes time it could still be ass 🥲

Now. For what I have to say about requests first. I have been meaning to make a request bot for a while now :)

Thing is, I have a couple things holding me back.

I'll touch on this in the section about myself. Simply put, I am a beginner at writing and I really want to avoid turning people down or disappointing people who entrusted me with their ideas to disappoint them with a result that isn't up to their taste or standard.
For example, my latest Gregor bot was supposed to be Oscar POV x Dawn office Greg, but after 4 drafts I had to give up because it felt unnatural and stiff. And Im not incredibly proud of what it ended up being ngl.

Secondly, I have mentioned it before but I am absolutely unable to post consistently. I have moments where the words just flow out of my mind, and some where I feel like my words are just too stiff and overall not great.

Lastly, I hate disappointing people who look up to me or even just like me in general. Imagine it like an artist not wanting to sell their craft because it's not refined enough yet. That's pretty much that.

If you want a bot and can acknowledge all of the above, I'd love to receive your request.

Although all of the above is true, It's an honor that people entrust me with their ideas. Id love to hear them and help you bring them to life.

Now !! To talk about my feefees.

Honestly talking about this is difficult, as much as i like being friendly and nice I don't really open up to people. Like ever lol

Before my first bot, I had never, ever written anything quite like a fanfic, much less a bot. In general I'm not someone who writes or reads a whole lot, so as you can probably guess from my bot, I'm not all that well read.

To put things bluntly, everytime I post something, and I get nice comments, It really comforts me a lot about my skills even when I'm aware they're far from exceptional. Immediately after, the imposter syndrome hits hard and I usually have a complete crash in terms of motivations, and I suddenly hate the bot I just posted.

It's bad to the point where I was looking for a Gregor bot, and didn't recognize one of mine until I cringed at reading the intro and immediately deleted the chat without even a message there.

Due to the imposter syndrome and such keeping me down I feel like dissociating from JAI for a while until I either have an idea, or someone gives me a request. Or until a creator I like posts something that I end up admiring.

I also failed to mention that english is not my first language, so that definitely does NOT help in this matter lol.

But to the 3 people who will read this to the end, whether it be by curiosity or because you somehow like my bots, thanks a lot. I'm kinda feeling down as I am writing. while I don't need and am not super comfortable with being comforted, simply having someone read what I have to say and acknowledge my troubles exist feels like more than enough. Bonus for those who read to this point, I might make a rien bot soon. Also I love you.

Basically I feel like my only drive comes from poorly mimicking others. I will stop there to avoid making the yapping too long.

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Basically to make a long story short. I'm a chud, got lowkenuinely justified imposter syndrome and cannot hold a schedule for the life of me. Otherwise I can improve guys trust !!!

Fishmael

Additional fun fact: Individiae in my name is from the pecca.
Cuz peccas are copys or the sinners, and bots kind of are, too. Partially also because I really like Middle Envy team.

And I didnt even type it right in my name.