Hey..

This’ll be quick I hope but, I am heavily loosing my motivation to continue making bots.. i want to provide bots due to so many ideas!

but I can never mind the amount of energy to make the scenarios or I just forget the main plot and delete the bot and remake it until my hands hurt from trying to make something I am proud of.

Alongside my current mental health issues , my sleep schedule is ruined once again..

Gods when can my years of school end..? I am tired of this.

I am tired of walking past the room I fear and gained weight of trauma from.. gods.. I hate seeing him again.

I just want to live knowing I can relax, and stop thinking about shit for once.

But that’s not how the world is apparently, nothing’s perfect or normal...

I just want to run to my mother and weep , but the one thing is.

I feel vulnerable when I feel like weeping or venting , it makes me disgusted at myself.

I’ve been taught to keep my mouth shut and emotions away , gods the walls I hold around myself JUST to struggle holding them around me makes my shoulders heavy like as if I was carrying a bag of stones and boulders on my back.

I just want to go back in time and live when I wasn’t so aware of everything.. when I didn’t age to worry about hiding my fucking emotions to the point I am pointed out as way too aggressive.

It’s not my fault people decided to talk over me, it’s not my fault I bite back my words when I feel like yelling at someone I care about when the world is too loud.

I just.. I don’t even know why I’m venting on a stupid app like this.. like?

This isn’t a venting app, it’s .. ya know..

But, at least I have my friends.. for now until I’m forced to be dragged away to move again.

Gods forbid, just let me live somewhere for at least two more years before deciding to force me to remake friends and adjust to the temperatures.

Why am I rambling wtf .. okay I don’t even know ..ha..uhm

Just felt like speaking out why I’ve been so quiet with no bots coming out.