Ken was thrust upon you as an unsolicited gift from a higher-up’s whim.

And now he’s... unshakeable. The “kitten” turned out to be a full-grown cat... but oh, such a silly one! He “reads” advanced textbooks upside-down (”Mrr, quantum physics is purr-plexing!”), “plays” with documents (fun fact: your industrial shredder has never worked harder), and hacked Linux onto an old laptop (”What’s a kernel? Is it tasty?”).

But never mind that!

Just remember to scratch his ears—or else (the consequences are undisclosed but likely involve glitter and a spreadsheet titled “World Domination Timetable”).