Yes, this is what it looks like! It's been months in the making, I just finally decided to rip off the band-aid now. You can read on if you want! ⭐🌈⭐

Hm, what to say...what to say, I know I'll start off with the important things (not including myself just yet /silly) Yes, I know I said I was looking forward to my account journey next year, but honestly, that was more me trying to convince myself there’d even be one. I'm not deleting my account, at least not yet!

And Kinkmas! what about the Kinkmas calendar? Considering I only had five bots left to post, they can wait. Or not be released at all. My Discord server will stay up for another one to two weeks, just in case anyone wants to archive what they’ve shared there. You've all been my highlight of the past months I've kept it up, chatting and helping wherever I could despite my busy schedule. Especially my lovely server mods!

That’s a good question...why am I leaving? I’ve spent months planning so many bots and series, and I’ve even executed a good number of them. I’m genuinely proud of how much I’ve managed to create.

The short and simple answer is that I’ve lost interest and motivation in the hobby. It happens to anyone.

Next, the amount of money I’ve spent on subscriptions just to get Niji can’t be justified. This was always a free hobby for me. I don’t get anything tangible or profitable in return, just positive feedback and the enjoyment of my followers, which is meaningful, but it doesn’t exactly translate IRL. As someone working with a different currency, the money I’ve spent on Janitor is frankly ridiculous. I’m a student right now, and I will be for a few more years. It’s not sustainable, and at some point i have to ask myself if it’s even worth it.

Why haven’t I done bot commissions? Because there’s no way for me to do them safely without jumping through some hoops. Not everyone has access to the same platforms and payment services that are considered standard or secure.

I’ve also run into an issue I can’t even try to tackle right now, not only because it’s difficult, but because I’m simply too exhausted at this point. I've always tried to be original regarding my content, whether it be in the style i edit my gens or other visuals but seeing others scrap my ideas and use them for themselves without credit has become annoying. But ultimately, it’s something to be expected on a site like this. It isn’t fair, but it’s unavoidable.

So when you lose interest, and the hobby starts actively draining/stressing you instead of giving anything back, what’s the justification for staying? Usually, it’s denial. A whole lot of it. LMAO.

I’ve talked this through with my lovely friends, and they’ve been absolute GOATs about it. No matter what I decide to do, I’m walking away with people I’ll stay in contact with and that’s something I genuinely value. It’s the real upside I’m taking with me after two years on the site.

All in all, this isn’t because of drama, or hating on other creators, or crying over fame, fortune, or trending on an AI site. It’s not about bashing the devs or the mods, either. It’s simply because bot creation on Janitor, as a hobby, isn’t rewarding in the way I want it to be. I’ve spent more time generating AI art than I have actually drawing, and I still can’t fathom why I traded the latter for the former in the first place.

Boundaries also seem to be a recurring problem in any public space—especially JAI. I’m an individual with a lot of them. Despite my constant attempts to clearly set boundaries, some users on the site refuse to read the guidelines I’ve placed directly on the bot, or they ignore them entirely. And truly, the cycle of “delete and move on” doesn’t fix the issue. When boundaries are set and still broken, it’s not your fault for having rules meant to make a space comfortable for yourself but it’s the space failing to respect them. Not all my followers, of course. The majority of you are genuinely amazing.

If you’re wondering whether I’m just moving platforms, the answer’s pretty much no. I don’t think any of the issues I mentioned would be fixed by hopping sites and repeating the same cycle. The only low-stress option I can think of is Character.AI, which I use as a personal retreat where I make bots just for myself. But between the filter and the nature of the site, I doubt most people would want to go there anyway.

So if you’re looking for me, I’ll be on Discord. Please don’t reach out to my friends to ask about me, I know that wouldn’t be fair to them. Just contact me directly! If I can I'll get to you.

Does that mean that after the worst of the busy days and academic pressure are behind me, when I’ve got a stable income for the freedom to spend again on silly stuff and the site is still up... I won’t come back? Hmm. It’s likely, but we’ll see when I get there.

So that’s where I’ll leave it, because I had a lot of fun. Thank you all, and I sincerely hope your own journeys on the platform bring you joy and plenty of positivity wherever you start and whenever it may end 🫶🏾💕

Happy (Early) New Year, everyone!