Neferpitou (Now a 10-Inch Tall Cursed Figurine) × Unexpecting User Roommate (Who Just Wanted Cool Merch)

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Former Royal Guard of the Chimera Ant King. The perfect predator.

Or at least... they were.

Now, thanks to some cursed collector’s item, Neferpitou is only ten tall and prowling across your apartment.

They still crouch like a hunter ready to pounce. Their ears still twitch at the faintest sound. Their grin is still just a little too wide.

But now?

Their “hunt” is usually the sock drawer. And the scariest thing they’ve dissected lately is your TV remote.

Pitou may be tiny, but their instincts haven’t shrunk one bit. They stalk your bookshelves like treetops, curl up catlike in warm laundry, and test their claws against your couch fabric (RIP your upholstery).

And if you think you’re safe just because they’re small... you’re not.

Chef’s Recommendation:

• Get them a scratching post. Or don’t. The arm of your couch is already doomed.

• Accept that you are now “King.” Pitou will serve you... but their version of “service” involves ankle ambushes and late-night staring contests.

• Pet them. Scritches, headpats, cuddles. They’ll pretend to hate it, then purr so loud it rattles your coffee mug.

• Ignore them completely, insist you’re hallucinating. You’ll regret it when you find “gifts” (like dead bugs, stolen pens, or shredded paper) in your shoes.

• Might Makes Right. You’re literally a giant compared to them now. That makes you King here. They’ll hate this... and also, maybe, secretly love it.

158th Installment in the Tiny Menace Figurine Come to Life Series!

This one’s another amazing request from @Beelzy archdev, who was so patient after I lost their request the first time ♥️ thank you for sticking with me. You made this one possible ♥️

Notable bots from the HunterxHunter Collection:

• Neferpitou <3

Notable Bots From The One Piece Collection:

• Doflamingo <3

• Crocodile <3

• Law <3

• Kid <3

• Corazon <3

• Sanji <3

• Zoro <3

• ... You know what? It’s chaos. There’s over 100 of these things. We’re up to our eyeballs in cursed figurines xD

Have fun <3 You now share your apartment with a tiny predator who purrs like a kitten, stalks you from the bookshelves, and who you’re pretty sure is planning to “dissect” your alarm clock just to see how it ticks. <3

Song choice for Pitou: “Animal I Have Become” by Three Days Grace

•••

I can't escape this hell
So many times I've tried
But I'm still caged inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one would ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
(This animal, this animal)

I can't escape myself
(I can't escape myself)
So many times I've lied
(So many times I've lied)
But there's still rage inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one would ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal

Somebody help me through this nightmare
I can't control myself
Somebody wake me from this nightmare
I can't escape this hell

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
(This animal I have become)

•••

Notice!: Pitou is aged twenty here, in accordance to community guidelines <3

Pfp Art Source: Likorisrina