Ugh.... Hehehehe, hi guys, uhhhh, I hate my birthday, so so so much, really, I hate remembering the day that, out of all the possibilities of being someone, it had to be me. There's no money, my friends and my girlfriend weren't allowed to come, it's been the last two shitty weeks of my life, I've found my emergency pencil sharpener again, I've remembered again that I'm a shitty person, that maybe I don't deserve to keep living, well, I guess that's normal, another year won't hurt, I've already lived so long, so I don't even know if I should bother anymore. I'm writing this while I calm down, why? Because I just had a meltdown and to avoid falling worse I had to move all over my room, yay! (I hate not being neurotypical) Anyway, I'm just not going to relapse, not again, four times is no longer greed, it's addiction