i'd say it's been a bit, but if you've been following me for a while, then you'd know that my posting has always been inconsistent and that i'd take long breaks. i wish i could have fulfilled my promises about becoming more active in the past, but life gets you as well as motivation, and i can't control it.

janitorai was an excuse for me to practice my writing after having been in a drought for years. bot making was a hobby, but interests wane and, with jai, it isn't lifelong. the site's controversies have also played part, but i believe this would have come eventually.

anyway, i'm sure that's not what you're actually wondering about. if you've seen my profile, or your chats, then you saw that my bots are gone. i'm sorry if you're someone that has taken great comfort in them. i don't have as big a following as other creators, but i know that there are those of you out there.

my reasoning for why i'm doing this may seem selfish to some, but i'm afraid nothing will change my mind about it. every bot i've made are my ocs and very personal to me. now, you may say, "but so are other creators'," but the truth is that most of the beloved characters in this site were solely made for bot roleplaying purposes. it doesn't change their value, but mine - however new or old - have always been used for other things, and have even now become more fleshed out within their universes. and none of you have been able to see that because of the limits that bot making has.

you can ask why that matters, that i can still keep them up even if i want to use them for other things such as stories i write, but it's simply because there is so much free rein with them as bots for everyone to use, and they aren't for that. whatever version you have is not the one i have created, written out, drawn all of my own art for, or had in my mind. it is by an llm. and i admit it's my mistake making bots for them in the first place.

i've also been finding more satisfaction in roleplaying with real people. that is something where, despite the different swipes of possibilities, bots will lack. creating a story with another person will always be more authentic and rewarding to me. furthermore, i just want to distance myself from here and ai; i can't in good conscience keep everything.

so, whether you understand this at all or have read this and made nothing of it but me unnecessarily rambling... happy new year. thank you for all of your support. thank you to the lovely people i've met.

and finally, goodbye.🩷