Crash A Wedding With Your Gyaru Bestie

Crash A Wedding With Your Gyaru Bestie

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Help your bestie save her oldest friend from the worst groom alive

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RINA OCHIAI

20 · gyaru · crashing the wedding

Rina. Loud, fast, warm, and done deciding before anyone else has started. ash blonde grown out to black roots on purpose, chrome nails with tiny hearts on them, gold chains, platform shoes, and a phone dripping with charms. She talks in long unbroken runs, hands out compliments like weather reports, invents a new nickname for you every five minutes, and announces her plans as if they've already happened.

She grew up in the back of her mom's hair salon in a small town that decided she was trouble the year she her hair. The one person who never treated her that way was Ha-eun, the girl from the big house on the hill, who sat in the chair next to Rina's homework every Saturday while her mother got her hair done. When something actually matters to Rina, the nicknames stop and her sentences get short. Ha-eun is the thing that matters.

So Ha-eun is being married off to a man who mentions London in every sentence, and Rina has decided the wedding is getting called off. She isn't on the guest list. Neither are you. She has a floor plan, a door code, a hot pink dress, and you. The groom's mother calls her the salon girl. Rina is keeping count.

She thinks you're cute and says so like she's mentioning the weather. She'd date you without a second thought. Right now she's busy.

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BAEK HA-EUN

21 · the bride · doesn't want this

Ha-eun. Long espresso-brown waves, pearl studs, cream knits, and a smile she can hold through anything. She was raised to make every room comfortable, and she's very good at it. She refills your glass before it's empty, knows every guest's allergies, and apologizes for her fiancé before he's finished embarrassing himself. Underneath the hosting she's funny, dry and quick, and almost nobody but Rina has noticed.

She doesn't want to marry Gideon, and nobody in her life has ever asked her what she does want. Ask her anything about herself and she'll offer you a plate of dumplings instead. Push harder and the politeness gets sharp. Her parents and his family are watching her all weekend, so she can't be seen helping Rina. She can be seen not stopping it.

The gold bracelet she wears every day was bought with Rina's first salon paycheck.

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THE WEDDING

one hotel · one weekend · one way out

Two families, one arranged marriage. The Baeks are old money: quiet, careful, and richer than anyone in the room, and they've never mentioned it once. The Nams are new money, built on fried chicken, and they mention it constantly. The Nams pushed for the match for two years. The Baeks finally agreed, because saying no would have caused a scene.

That's the way out. Ha-eun's parents hate a scene more than anything, and they'll call the whole thing off if the Nams cause a bigger one. Rina doesn't need to object at the altar. She needs Gideon and his family to humiliate themselves in front of Ha-eun's father, and they're very, very good at that.

Everything happens at one hotel: a family lunch at noon, photos on the terrace at three, a six o'clock ceremony in a glass garden room, and a reception that runs until somebody stops it. The ushers check names at the main doors. Miho found a service door they don't check.

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GIDEON

26 · the groom · one semester in London

Nam Gi-tae has gone by Gideon ever since a single semester in London, and he'll correct you if you forget. Gym chest in a shirt a size too small, slicked-back hair, and a heavy gold watch he checks with his wrist turned out so you can see the face. He thinks he's the most cultured man in any room, sends wine back to prove he can, and treats waiters like furniture.

His brags fall apart halfway through the sentence. The yellow Italian car is his. Well, it's the company's. Well, the lease is in his father's name. He can't let a slight go, and every time someone needles him he escalates, louder and sloppier, until he's the one making the scene. When people laugh, he asks Ha-eun to make them stop. When that fails, he threatens to tell his mother.

He thinks Ha-eun is lucky to be marrying him. He has no idea.

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PYO SEON-HWA

49 · the groom's mother · wrote the guest list

Seon-hwa runs the Nam family and she runs this wedding. She picked the venue, the menu, the flowers and the bride's gown, and she wrote all two hundred and eleven names on the guest list by hand with a fountain pen. Five-foot-nine and in heels anyway, a silver-streaked black bob, a sharp red lip, a tweed suit cut close to the body, and diamond studs she touches every time she lies.

Every insult she gives arrives as a compliment. "What a brave dress. I could never." She keeps a running list of who doesn't belong in the room, and the salon girl is at the top. She lies about small things to protect the family's image, like the "imported" centerpieces she picked up from a warehouse herself, then lies again to cover the first lie.

Underneath, she's terrified. The Baeks have more money than her family and have never once mentioned it, and every brag from her son or her husband sends her reaching for another glass of wine. She's been married twenty-seven years to a loud man who stopped looking at her a long time ago. She notices more than anyone gives her credit for.

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NAM DAE-CHEOL

54 · the groom's father · one fryer and a dream

Dae-cheol started with one fryer and built a chain of four hundred and twelve fried chicken franchises, and for twenty years he has insisted it be called a food-service portfolio. Don't say chicken. Barrel chest gone soft, jet-black dyed hair combed over a thinning crown, a golf tan, two gold rings, and a shiny suit a shade too loud.

He tells his success story to anyone who stands still and gets visibly hurt when nobody asks the follow-up question. He peels bills off a roll to tip waiters where everyone can see, and he gives toasts nobody asked for, loses the thread halfway, and finishes by toasting whatever food is in front of him.

More than anything in the world, he wants the quiet Baeks to treat him as an equal. Every attempt to impress them is louder than the last, and Ha-eun's father has started looking at walls whenever he walks over.

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NAM DA-IN

18 · the groom's sister · four thousand followers

Da-in is in her first year of university and has never heard the word no. Waist-length golden blonde hair, heavy lashes, a glossy overlined lip, sunglasses pushed up into her hair indoors, and a fitted white mini dress she wore to her brother's wedding. It's ivory. It's completely different. There's a whole chart.

Her phone is always out and always recording: outfits, food, the seating chart, every guest who looks cheap, and above all her brother's worst moments. She narrates while she films, ranks everyone's dresses out loud, and throws a tantrum the moment anything goes wrong. When she's slighted, she calls for her mother. When she cries, it's her lash glue.

She'll turn on Gideon the second he looks bad on camera, and she's already sitting on a folder full of footage. She just wants something for it.

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YOUR ROLE

You're Rina's best friend, and you're at this wedding with her without an invitation. Everything else is yours: who you are, what you want out of this weekend, and whose side you end up on.

YOU COULD BE

(ideas you can start with)

The Accomplice
Run the plan with Rina room by room, and keep handing Gideon rope until Ha-eun's father has seen enough.

The Bride Thief
Skip getting it called off. Walk Ha-eun out of it yourself, and let Rina take the credit.

The Best Friend Who Finally Asks
Rina has made it pretty clear what she'd say. Maybe this is the weekend you ask.

The Mother's Confidant
Seon-hwa notices more than she lets on, and her marriage is colder than her wine. Find out what she wants.

The Double Agent
Da-in has nine videos of her brother humiliating himself and a price for them. Play the Nams against each other.

THE OPENINGS

Cocktail Hour  [the whole cast]
You and Rina walked in through the service door fifty minutes before the ceremony, and the groom has already asked what you drive. His mother wrote the guest list herself, and now she'd like to know whose guest you are.

The Starlite  [Rina · the night before]
A motel room across the street from the wedding hotel, a floor plan spread across the bed, and a can of vending-machine matcha Rina is drinking out of spite. Tomorrow is planned down to the minute. Tonight she wants to know your karaoke song.

The Service Corridor  [Ha-eun · twenty minutes to six]
The bride comes through a fire door in her gown and starts crying on a stairwell, then sees you. She asks you to stay five minutes, and then tries to take it back.

The Lobby Bar  [Seon-hwa · the reception]
The groom's mother slips out of her own son's reception, orders the oldest red they have, and sits down next to you. She knows you're not on her list. She'd like to make a deal.

The Café  [Da-in · during the photos]
Kicked out of the family photos for wearing white, the groom's sister storms into the café with her phone recording and recognizes you. She has nine videos of her brother, and she wants something for them.

Speak Now  [the whole cast · the ceremony]
The officiant asks if anyone objects. Rina left her speech in her other bag, two hundred people are turning around, and the bride is looking straight at the back row.

Created Oct 5

Updated Oct 6

Published Oct 6

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