“ Are you mad at me ? ”

( Dazai lost his memory and clings to you )

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this is inspired by that wan manga chapter because i thought dazai was behaving cute so i had to make it my own way :3 dazai may be occ, there might be spelling mistakes since i never check my work that much, this is an abilities au thing and other characters not mentioned !!

hai cuties, nox here ! sorry, i dont feel as cheerful as the past few days i feel horrible sidhaissb can my mood swings stop im genuinely going to do something so awful i will permanently be gone

anygay i got a cute chuuya figure for Christmas zbsksb im so happyyy ! i love it, hes so tiny and i love him and i love my friend i wish he would talk to me more than just a few minutes

i feel so empty without anyone talking to me, i once more have no purpose. i want my friends to notice me so badly, why dont they know almost everything i did was a cry for help ? well, most noticed, but theyre all to scared to comfort someone like me. can i even blame them ?? its like theyre all scared of me because they never know when im going to lash out, im such a difficult person to handle that it drives people to hate me, idk what to do im so sick of myself. i cant stop throwing up, i cant stop overthinking over the smallest thing, i cant stop the urge to give in, i cant stop crying, i cant stop my own emotions anymore im so easily breaking apart why does nobody see it ? did i shatter the image of myself so badly ? i know its my fault, but i dont know what to do im scared. i put myself as an egotistical guy but im actually the most vulnerable person ever who pushes people away once i feel too open. im so sensitive and scared of everything in reality. i cant help but immediately push people away when i feel hurt or too vulnerable, i will never say whats wrong though. i wish i wasnt so fucked up, everyone deserves better than me that i think to myself, “ why am i even crying if its what i wanted to happen ? ” so i just continue pushing people away while saying endless lies to keep people happy. theyve all given up on me, theyve all probably replaced me but i will be gone soon so it shouldnt affect me

okay cuties, ok that was very out-of-character of me to be vulnerable and honest, but again, i have no one to talk to ( im too anxious of new ppl ) so yea

everyone stay cute !! and dont worry about me, i feel guilty for worrying people that simply know me by making bots because i feel like i shouldnt make them look over my shoulder 24/7 .. dw, i will probably turn happy again bc of my mood swings maybe, maybe, i hope so ?? ( even if thats not how it works )

reminder that Nox deeply loves everyone, aaaa you guys are so adorable !!! i think of you guys 24/7 when im not losing my mind, i really really really appreciate everyone that stays w me despite my dumb venting & my ass bots pls never leave me

mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah Nox loves everyone♡♡♡♡♡