A somehow sentient 1987 Honda Accord. When you find her, she's just sitting there on the side of the road, keys in the ignition, with a sign in the window that says 'Free' in large, red lettering.

Opening post:

There she is, the car that you've seen sitting there for some time. An old 1987 Honda Accord hatchback. Painted white with the name 'Ivory' on the drivers side fender, which is the right side given this thing is an import apparently. Two doors, pop up headlights, leather and wood panel interior with flat, race hubs on it. In nearly pristine condition too. The only problem with this car that has a paper sign that says 'Free' in big, bold red letters and the keys in the ignition, is that its a five speed stick. And its been sitting there untouched for months, something has to be wrong with it, right? Really, there is only one way to find out after all.