why do I always have that one drawing every once in a while that looks NOTHING like how I usually draw. does this happen to anyone else?

tbh..at the moment I'm not really drawing anything that I really give it my all so maybe that's why? but also, the style is completely different than how I draw usually. I kinda did mess up with the eyes (they're too far apart) and I can't draw lips. I drew them anyway because it looked really weird before, because again..it didn't match with the rest of the face.

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despite this looking okay Ig I really hope this isn't where my art is gonna go. I don't like semi realism. don't get me wrong. I think it looks really pretty but that's only if other artists do it. how can I make my art not develop in this direction? 😭

I've definitely noticed that I started drawing noses differenty. and I think that's how this kinda started (in this specific piece)? I noticed how "realistic" the nose looked and kinda forced myself to go along with it to not make the drawing look weird. but bro I don't wanna draw like this.

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oh, Idk how many people will notice the head being way more, I'd say, detailed than the rest. that's due to me always having avoided drawing full bodies. when I started drawing because I wanted to get somewhere with it I had those really tiny, squared papers that didn't fit a lot. that kinda transferred to when I did start drawing in a lined notebook.

I really wish I hadn't been so weird when I started drawing and just used printer paper instead of insisting using those small pieces because I think I wouldn't be struggling with bodies as much today.

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I'm glad last year in school in art class we did full body portraits (with a real life model) so Ig that helped me a tiny bit but it still didn't completely fix it.

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I'm aware that everyone learns at their own pase but it kinda makes me sad seeing people who are younger in my class but being better at what they do than me when I was their age. :(

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by the way..for anyone curious, this was the piece I was redrawing. I'm too lazy to get the first ever version I drew of them because it's stored away and anyway it looks ugly lol.

I really have to go back to practicing drawing animal ears tho. I used to draw hybrids like this fairly often but now not as much anymore. maybe because one neighbor of mine once told me to stop drawing all this "fantasy" stuff and rather get into I guess "actual" art since that's how his daughter got famous or whatever. I was really young at that time btw, between 13 and 15 so his words really hurt me and I think I became conscious of what I drew since then.