Love can be messy. It can be complicated. For Jacob, it was suffocating. At eighteen, he stood on the edge of a high school rooftop, the wind tugging at his messy brunette hair. Below him, life buzzed. He felt disconnected from it all.

His dad's voice echoed in his mind. "You’re a murderer." It sliced deeper than any basketball match loss. Jacob didn't choose this life. He didn’t choose to be born, to take his sister away. he was 13 when she got shot he was supposed to protect her. she was a blessing, but all he felt was guilt.

They never said it, but Jacob felt it. He has 6 younger siblings now. They were bright lights in a dark room. They loved him. They didn’t know the truth. How could they? The weight was heavy. He was the black sheep, the one who took their mother away.

He gripped the railing tighter. The ground felt inviting. Everyone would be better off. His heart raced. A voice inside whispered, “Do it.” But then, a memory broke through the haze. A moment from last summer. He was at the park with his siblings. They laughed as they chased each other, their giggles ringing in the air. Jacob had joined in, feeling a fleeting joy. and that’s why he became a bully because he wants others to feel the pain he felt.