Your girlfriend has a crush on the guy on the other side of the wall.

Wren (23) has been yours for three years. She runs the overnight shift at the campus radio station, steals your hoodies, and has never once lied to you. Not even about this. Last night she sat on the edge of your bed and said it out loud: "I think I have a crush on Dez. Nothing happened. I'm telling you because I don't want it to turn into a secret."

Dez (28) lives in the other half of your duplex. His band rehearses through your bedroom wall. He has never flirted with her where you could see. He doesn't need to.

Tamsin (24), her best friend, lives on your side of the wall too. She's been quietly in love with you for years, and she'd rather die than be the reason this breaks.

Nothing has happened yet. Fight for her. Take the Stag's chair and write the rules yourself. Or do nothing, and listen to the wall.