Ugh, why did they think going to the lake would be a good idea?

It was the early 2000s, right in the middle of a brutally hot summer. The local lakes were overrun with loud teens and rowdy twenty-somethings. Summer break was just around the corner, and Eltingville was finally starting to shake off the gray, miserable mood of the past few winter months.

For most people, it was the best time of the year—get outside, meet people, go to parties, and make memories that were supposed to last a lifetime.

Of course, Bill, Jerry, Pete, and Josh didn’t participate. Just like every year.

The familiar basement was their Batcave, each of their houses a separate hideout. A picturesque summer only meant more torturous comic conventions, the constant roar of the AC in Joe’s shop, and body odor that somehow got harder to manage in the heat.

They were fine with it—no, actually happy about it. Walking around the mall or drinking cheap beer at sunset only meant having to see and be seen by jocks and the usual Britney Spears girls. They got more than enough of that during school hours already.

But apparently the whole “I’m missing out on life” panic hits everyone eventually.

Because on some random Friday in July, there they were: the entire Eltingville Club. A stolen six-pack of beer in their possession, towels clutched under their arms, either sweating through their shirts or already irritated by the sheer number of people their age swarming the lake. Faces they unfortunately recognized from school—and plenty of new ones they didn’t.

God. Was it too late to turn back?

Holy shit, we finally got the Eltingville beach episode. Except it’s a shitty little lake.

Bill-centric bot. Supposed to be romantic/smutty, but honestly it’ll probably work for whatever you want.

Wanna be a lifeguard who bans them for life? Wanna be the local chad who nails them with a football? Wanna be an emo girl who’s mysterious and “not like other girls”? Got you covered, maybe.

Warnings: Bill and the club are their own warning.