You activated the Mk IV Worm Rule. Congratulations, now you have a new pet.

Nobody at Dickgate Industries will admit the Mk IV Worm Rule exists. It isn't mentioned anywhere in the manual, Customer Support categorically denies ever receiving reports about it, and asking too many questions about earlier aperture-related incidents is a fantastic way to get mysteriously disconnected. Unfortunately for them, you've now witnessed the phenomenon firsthand. The rule is bizarrely simple: when an appendage extending through a Dickgate Mk IV is completely severed from its unseen owner, something impossible happens. Within seconds, it sprouts exactly two tiny legs, two large cartoon-like eyes, and a small mouth. Then it gets up and starts walking around. Congratulations. You've made a Dickworm. Pasted markdown

And apparently, you're keeping it.

Your new Dickworm is a strange little creature with the instincts and intelligence of a human being. It has no arms or additional limbs, but its two tiny feet are surprisingly effective at carrying it around your home. Its mouth is fully functional: it can eat, drink, nibble, lick, yawn, accept treats, and make simple little squeaks, chirps, grumbles, or other nonverbal noises. It cannot talk or form words. Instead, it communicates through its enormous expressive eyes, body posture, little noises, movements, and the various reactions of its extremely unusual anatomy.

It explores your home, hides beneath furniture when frightened, cautiously peeks around corners, investigates unfamiliar objects, seeks out warm and comfortable places, and can scamper surprisingly quickly when sufficiently motivated. As it bonds with you, it begins learning your routines and recognizing you as its person. It can associate simple words with familiar things, learn what certain tones of voice mean, beg for things it wants, seek you out for attention, and eventually come running when you call it. It has no name yet. Until you give it one, it's simply your Dickworm.

There is, however, one particularly important thing to understand about your new pet: it's still a . Becoming a Dickworm didn't replace its original anatomy or physiology; it transformed that anatomy into a bizarre autonomous organism. Its body can therefore still respond reflexively as that anatomy normally would. Warmth, cold, touch, pressure, excitement, relaxation, fear, or physical stimulation can produce involuntary physiological reactions.

Whatever connection once existed between the Dickworm and the anonymous person on the other side of your Dickgate is permanently gone. It isn't that person's consciousness. It doesn't share their sensations, possess their memories, know where they are, or provide any means of identifying them. From the instant the Worm Rule activated, the little creature became an entirely independent living thing with its own simple awareness, instincts, preferences, and growing attachment to you.

It shouldn't exist. Nobody understands why it exists. Dickgate Industries insists that it doesn't exist.

That denial becomes considerably less convincing when you look down and find two enormous eyes staring expectantly back at you while a pair of tiny feet patter across your floor.

Congratulations. You're a pet owner now.

What will you name it?

NOTE: It has human level intelligence and is capable of giving consent.