I'm going to be just be honest here

I hate my life I struggle deeply with depression and even with gender dysphoria and how

This god forsaken life is giving me nothing in return

I don't believe in the god that my church teaches

I feel like sinner or a blasphemous Christian for believing that all gods exist

but my god (Yahweh) is the ruler of All of them

I feel like a sinner for wanting to be a gender I wasn't assigned to because

"God assigned me my own gender" which I think is bs

I feel like shit for liking women because homosexuality is "sinful"

I fucking hate my life I'm not joking

And I feel constantly pressured to rid myself of sin I don't know what to do

I feel like a black swan in a white swan lake of my church

I literally struggle focusing on my work

The country is a fucking mess and shitshow I don't even know

I had a mental breakdown At class i don't know what to fucking do

I'm scared I'm so fucking afraid

And the only thing keeping me from going insane is writing and fashion design

I can't even go through gender confirming (Mostly testosterone therapy) because I have a extreme

Christian homophobic relative

-Azerick (Lamb of Nightshade)