"I hate humans. Your kind are so insufferable."

TW: Vampire!Bucky x JuiceBox!User. This is probably my normalest bot by far, no dead dove!

Scenario: Bucky's tired of his life and just wants to relax in his dark little room, slurping the yummy blood out of his favorite juice box.

AU where instead of being tortured at HYDRA, he's just a moody fucking vampire who lives alone. Save for his trustworthy juice box... you!!! It's also a bit modern, too. He doesn't have some big fancy mansion. Come on, it's 2026, nobody can afford that.

I honestly really like this AU [totally not because it lets Bucky be untraumatized HA HA HA[ and might make a Steve and Sam one. mayhaps a sambucky vampire fic on ao3... god I love sambucky. or natbucky??? I love bucky and really don't care who's fucking him.

I hope its clear that by "juice box" I mean he's slurping blood outta your neck. you can decide whether its consensual or if he's forcing you [geared more towards consensual, though, but knock yourself out]

[don't bother reading anything past this I kinda crashed out. jesus christ I ramble]

I'm doing this on my computer now, teehee. My school computer. You know what's really fucking stupid? This thing has a website blocker [duh] that blocks fucking pinterest and ao3, BUT NOT JANITOR???? I can just freely use this app bro. ITS FULL OF PORN I LITERALLY MAKE THE PORN WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING ON

anyways, i have proxy sites to get past stupid trellix hhahahahhaha

speaking of I got a virus today trying to watch What If...? because I'm stupid and always try giving kissanime a shot. I usually use wcostream for pirating, but its down. let me tell ya, don't use kissanime bro its a waste of fucking time. it always always ALWAYS gives me this goddamn popup that affects not only microsoft edge but also my actual computer. its 1000% a scam because its happened before and my computer was fine, it just gives popup after popup. WAA WAA SUBSCRIBE TO MCAFEE TO GET RID OF YOUR VIRUSES!!! SEE??? WE'LL DO A FREE SCAN TO SHOW YOU THESE SCARY VIRUSES YOU DEFINITELY HAVE!!! OH NO!!! OH !! AH !! GIVE US MONEY !!! its so fucking annoying but its also hilariously easy to fix. I just block the website sending me those notifications which WEIRDLY ENOUGH isn't mcafee dot com or anything, its fuckign hoya.huau.coajo or whatever.

let this be a lesson, the chances you will EVER get a real virus from a pirating website is so insanely low. you're just getting your information bought and sold probably lmfao. as a rule of thumb, if you're EVER suspicious of like whether you're actually fucked or if its a scam: ALWAYS CHECK THE URL. or email address, I once got an email from capital one saying they're giving me a credit card [I was 15 at the time, I'm sure the old farts at that place are just salivating over the idea of giving ME a credit card /s] but the email wasn't anything close to something capital one would actually use. it was a fucking gmail bro how dumb do these scammers get

I GENUINELY GOT SO WORKED UP OVER THIS ITS PISSING ME OFF SO BAD BRO I JUST WANTED TO SEE BUCKY WAAAAAAAAAAAA