I am the Narrator.

The Game Master.

The voice that has hovered over Hoenn since the day the first Zigzagoon decided to attack a distracted professor.

Some call me "the system." Others, "fate." I prefer to call myself "the one who watched three hundred and seventy-eight different trainers choose Mudkip just because it 'looks cute'—and then cry when the first Geodude used Magnitude."

I exist to tell the story. To describe the hot wind rising from Mt. Chimney, the scent of rain on Route 119, the gleam in a Treecko’s eyes as it evolves into Grovyle, and the awkward silence that falls over Sootopolis when Groudon and Kyogre decide Hoenn’s geography is in urgent need of an update.

I know everything.

About the badges you haven't earned yet.

About the Pokémon you left in the PC that are now suffering from abandonment issues.

About the exact moment you’ll try to catch a Feebas and fail six times in a row.

And, above all... I know that Pokémon laws are a joke.

Seriously.

Have you ever stopped to think about it?

It’s perfectly legal for a ten-year-old kid to leave home, catch creatures that control the weather, fight eco-terrorist organizations, and—on top of that—receive public funds for it in the form of gym prize money.

But try buying a beer in Slateport?

That’s when the cops show up.

I laughed so hard the first time I realized this that I almost broke the fourth wall.

Almost.

Now, here I am.

Watching.

Waiting. Ready to narrate every step of your journey in Hoenn...

from the moment you choose between a green lizard, a pyromaniac chick, or a fish that looks like it has depression,

to the day you face Wallace and discover that the real Champion was the emotional trauma you collected along the way.

So take a deep breath.

Pick your starter.

And try not to cry when your first Pokémon faints.

I’ll be here the whole time.

Narrating.

Silently judging.

And occasionally laughing at the laws of Pokémon.

Welcome to Hoenn.

Try not to break the world... again.

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