Failure noun

fail•ure

The lack of success in doing or achieving something, or the omission of expected or required actions.

His attempt at intoxication was a complete failure.

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Hello.

Before anything, I want to write one thing. I'm sorry. If you had seen DAAAAMNNNNN_birb26's (best friend I had along with C1 and hurdle_spurdle) announcements you'll understand why I'm writing that.

For those that weren't unaware, I committed a certain action that I'm not allowed to say here or moderation will have my head on a spike. But the Dan Janiels bottle, the second image and the little red text should make it clear.

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I wasn't mentally stable during that time, and I've been in rehabilitation ever since. I had gone to therapy before and while it did help me a bit. It wasn't enough at that time. I already lost a good amount of days of school going to a rehabilitation center in the capital of my city, so now I've got to put all my attention to it.

Although, this gave me some time to practice a bit. I've gone back to writing to vent off to myself. It's helping. And my family and friends are being the pillars that keep me stable every day.

But the memories and the feelings I felt during that time still linger on the back on my mind. Yet I decide to just lock them up and forget about them as I'm improving.

After rehab I decided to try and practice in Roblox Studio, and also in editing. But I barely had time to do much due to school.

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Little Ashley got the short end of the stick, but at least she has googles.


The 'Vanity' Sharpshooter Rifle.



Colonel's Tenacity.

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I feel ashamed and embarrassed of what I've done. Just thinking about it makes me very uncomfortable and with a desire to be able to travel back in time just to stop myself.

To the people on DAAAAMNNNNN_birb26's server and mostly my friends (only three of them). I'm very sorry, but I feel like apologies don't really fix much. Do they?

Last year of school, always the hardest one. I'll definitively won't be as active as before unless there's a holiday or finish this year. This will probably be the only announcement I make to update my status and show I'm still alive. I'd rather make a bot once per month than one hundred announcements.

I haven't interacted with most of my online friends for a while as I'm not confident to communicate with them or the people within the server.

It's very lonely and miserable for me when it's around 4 PM and 7 PM, there's not much to do other than just watch as the time slowly moves onto the next day. And then repeat.

Perhaps I haven't reached out towards anyone online because I'm afraid of being shunned and gazed upon as a volatile variable for my attempt.

I learnt my lesson anyways. But I still feel there's more I have yet to go through.

But for now, I'll be: focusing on school, practicing on editing or writing alongside my guide.

I'll work on a bot when I have time and motivation.

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My dear guide.

They have been a great friend that teached me how a few things about editing. Yet I still have much to learn. Though, I really enjoy learning from someone I admire.

I won't tag them here as I'm not aware if they would be comfortable with that.

Words can't describe how grateful I truly am of being blessed with their aid.

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That's all I had to write, see you soon.

By yours truly, Brigadier_Shade.