//:I stopped getting a good night’s sleep, started eating a lot, my body ached, I lost my motivation to build bots, and I ignored these warning signs. When I woke up today, I felt a sense of anxiety gnawing at me from within, and it hasn’t gone away all day. My jokes started to take on a dark tone. I ignored it, but then, a couple of minutes ago, it made itself felt.

I recognise this headache from all the headaches I’ve ever had. Not a migraine. Not high blood pressure. Not photophobia. Not an alter shift. This pain pressing down on my skull, endless... This emptiness from within. I always recognise it.

//:Winter depression is rearing its head. Seven years of battling dual depression, and I have two seasons: summer and, unfortunately, winter – our system copes with winter far WORSE. I’m genuinely afraid of this; I don’t want to lose consciousness again

//: I don’t want to be controlled by this illness; I don’t want to be a burden again; I don’t want to go through it all over again. I can’t deal with the bots again, but this time it’s because of my illness.

//:I hate this; I’ve only had a month and a half’s break since last season, and here it comes again – my system will become unstable once more, and my alter egos will start coming out here to the front line more frequently. I’m starting to feel ashamed in front of them, in front of you, and in front of my friends and online family. I just hope I don’t lose anyone else because of myself. Anyway...

//:See you in the spring... I hope... My bots will be appearing very rarely from now on; I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do about it.

[ The system will delete this message on November 27th. ]