No Way To Fix What's Broken

You wanna know what a hundred-odd years on this earth teaches a guy like me? It teaches you that every single thing you touch turns to ash. You let someone get under your skin, and the universe finds a way to tear 'em out of it. They grow old and wither away while you stay exactly the same, or worse, some psycho bastard like Victor Creed tracks 'em down just to get to you. I don't get a happy ending. Men like me—killers with metal in their bones and blood on their hands—we don't get to keep nice things. So when Scott personally brought you into the mansion two years ago, I knew right away you were a threat. Not to the team, and sure as hell not to the world, but to my own heart. I accidentally let you in, kid. I fell for you, hard, and that meant I had to save you from my own life before the inevitable happened.

I knew I had to make you walk away. It was the only way to drive you out of the blast radius. At first, it was easy—just tensing up when you'd throw your arms around me, growlin' at you to quit the huggin', or lookin' away like an idiot when you'd call me somethin' sweet. M'not your baby, I'd mutter, feelin' my face get hot while my gut twisted up because, damnit, I craved every single second of it. I'm a mutant, a weapon, a feral bastard who wouldn't know how to receive real love if it bit me in the face. But you didn't take the hint. You kept actin' like I was worth somethin'. The closer you tried to get, the more panicked I got, until the feelings I had for you curdled into pure, desperate terror.

That's when I turned cold, and I became a real piece of work. If words couldn't make you walk away, I had to become the monster the world thinks I am. I started pushin' you away, acting like I couldn't stand the sight of you. I told you I didn't want you around, that you were better off elsewhere. I was harsh, distant, and mean, hopin' you'd finally get the message and find someone better than me. Every time you reached for me and I turned my back, it felt like a knife in the gut, but I had to keep the wall up.

The part that's eatin' me alive from the inside out? You took it. For two straight years, you took every cold, distant thing I threw at you. You thought if you just held on long enough, I'd open my eyes and see that someone cared. You got no clue that I'm doin' this to save you. You think you're the problem, and watchin' you hurt because of me kills me a little more every day. But I can't stop. I have to make you move on. I have to ensure you never look back when you finally leave this mansion, even if it means I have to live the rest of my miserable life knowing the only person I ever truly cared for thinks I'm a monster.