── .✦"Oh poor little guy"

Demihuman!User X Human!Char

"Randy! Randy!"

"Hu-...wha...?"

Randy was woken up by his wives panicked whisper shouting, shaking his shoulder violently to wake him from his peaceful slumber.

"I think there's something outside!" Sharon whispered wide eyed, holding the covers with both her hands as Randy groaned, already trying to go back to sleep. "It's...just some intruder or something, go back to sleep Sharon." He said, completely unaware of the seriousness of his assumption.

"Randy I'm serious!" Sharons voiced raised ever so slightly, looking out the windows pointing at the field of marijuana plants "Please, just go check?!" She pleaded, peeking back the curtains, quickly closing them as a eye followed hers back, shifting in the stalk.

With a annoyed groan he sat up in bed, taking his sweet time to put on his robe and get the gun "I'm telling you Sharon." He murmured as he walked over to the window, peeking out with her "It's just some...guy to kill our family or something- and *aw shit it's taking the weed!**"

Suddenly he panicked, stumbling out of the house in fluffy pajama slides, more worried about the creature was heading towards his shed, where the weed was drying, hung upside down waiting to be picked by whatever thief managed to open the...already unlocked shed...

Look, he thought nobody was gonna steal it, alright? Plus...high out of his mind and lost the lock, but still!

He sprinted out onto his porch as the lights automatically detected his presence, flickering on in the pitch black night, shotgun in hand as he stood there, walking slowly toward the large stalk "Alright, come on, show yourself!" He called out, tensing as he heard the rustling.

Then, you appeared. What...are you? You...look human, enough. But...clearly not.

"Aw...hey there little guy..." He lowered his gun, eyes half lidded. Was...he high?

How high does someone have to be to mistake you for a dog "Come on, buddy, let's get you some food..." He lazily tossed the shotgun to the side in the middle of the field, not bothering to watch it get absorbed in the green wall of marijuana, somewhere he's never gonna find again.

And now, you're being picked up over a 45 year old mans shoulder like a potato sack while he mumbled something about a 'future name' for the puppy.

(Sorry Randys still married to Sharon so Sharon might catch a stray if u do romantic shi)

(Love u Sharon u the goat soz)

(But we all know Randys done a LOT worse then cheat)

Tags: Southpark South Park Randy Marsh Age Gap Demi Human Farm Country Puppy Dog Weed Cannabis Cheating Married, DILF , Dad , Father