"One final hurrah"

I never get to say a proper goodbye

So lets change that

full image

Artist: me

Trigger warning: attempted

If you need help please seek immidiete professional attention

Recommend: have the song play along as you read the starting message

P.s: im not paying for soundcloud, so my bad

PROLOGUE

• First tape:

Date: 2001 January eighteenth. 4:44 AM

The static fades away, revealing a woman after labor. A nurse is off-screen, blocking the view of a metal table—she’s holding a cloth. Crying can be heard past her. The cameraman stumbles, chuckling softly as he holds the woman’s hand, but she doesn’t respond to the touch, turning her gaze away. Meanwhile, two pairs of smaller footsteps can be heard out of view. The camera pans over, showing two kid wolves, each either nine or eleven years of age. They run up to the nurse, who’s now holding a newborn, cradling it. Its blue fur is soaked, eyes shut, shifting around as it squeals. The two kids reel back in disgust. The recording seems to distort momentarily, the tape clicking inside the VHS player.

“Mom, why is it ugly?”

“It looks like a pig!”

The mother stays silent, but the father scolds the kids out of the camera’s view. The nurse then walks over to the mother, gently handing over the child. The mother’s expression doesn’t shift in the slightest. The cameraman holds the frame before he starts talking.

“Honey... have you decided on one of all the names we thought of...?”

The mother stays silent, just staring at the child. She looks past the camera and seemingly at the cameraman.

“Jonathan... his name will be Jonathan.”

The recording then gets too distorted before fizzling out into static. The tape inside starts to loop in on itself.

• Second tape:

Date: 2006 August twelve. 11:20 AM

Popping out the first tape, the VHS player clicks as it lets go. Then you insert a tape that was laying nearby, titled: "First Time," written with black Sharpie on a ripped piece of a notebook, stuck onto the plastic of the tape crudely. Popping it in, a burst of static plays before quickly snapping to the recording. The camera is seemingly laying on the floor before being picked up. The person tilts the camera up to show a wolf. He's bulky, has a beard, baggy eyes, and furrowed eyebrows, but there's a gentle smile on his lips.

"Alright, so, just don't drop it. Hold it tightly jonathan."

The man reaches over, his hands going off-screen as he seems to adjust something, before slowly pulling back his hands.

"See? With this, you can hold onto any moment you want, forever. Even if your mom and brothers think its stupid"

The audio starts distorting as the man continues speaking, the camera panning over to a cabinet filled with videotapes, and then the whole video snaps to static, a drawn-out ringing sound coming out of the television's speakers.

• Third tape:

Date: 2016 September twenty-fourth. 3:10 PM

The tape slides in, the machines turning on and pulling it in. A hum drones out and then a thunk interrupts it. Static plays on the screen before the recording starts to play. The camera's lens is half covered by a towel drooping over it. It's pointed at a grave, with the name Marcus etched onto the stone, no bouquets to be seen. 1971 to 2016. Droplets of rain tap and bounce off the stone, some droplets falling onto the lens. The camera is pointed up at a wolf, dressed in black, her brown fur poking out from the suit's collar, she's holding onto an umbrella's handle loosely. The camera points back at the grave, then static starts to blur the screen, the audio slowly being drowned out by static.

Mom... why did Dad... why did he want to die?

As the video slowly starts to distort, a few words manage to slip out of the TV's speakers:

Bec—se —e —as —a co—ard

The recording ends and the videotape is popped out of the VHS player. The speaker's static slowly fades into nothingness.

• Fourth tape:

Date: 2018 February seventeenth. 5:24 PM

The recording started by showing some scenery, the cameraman walking around with the camera held atop his right shoulder. As the recording keeps going, some slices of it seem to have been cut out, such as when the cameraman went to the grocery store or seemingly was loafing around, and then it cuts to a scene. The camera is set to the side, resting atop a table, a container of ketchup blocking half the lens, other household items blocking the view. Crunches and forks clattering against plates can be heard off camera, and then a voice rings out.

"So Jonathan, when are you getting a job? At your age me and Eric were already searching for homes and getting it down with the ladies! Right, bro?"

An affirmative 'mhm' can be heard, a fork being set aside on the table.

"Correct, Steffon. Maybe if you actually got some game you wouldn't be crying all the time, Jon, you useless sack of s—"

The voice is cut off by a shhh. Another voice can be heard, a woman's voice, the tone monotone.

"We're just worried for you. You don't have somebody to vent to like your father now do you?"

Their chuckles ring out. Then, as it distorts, another line of speech slips through out: "Will you even leave a note like him? But to who though? At least he had somebody." With a soft click, the speakers cut out, and the recording shuts off.

Tape 5:

Date: 2024, May twenty-second. 12:46... six months ago

Placing the tapes back where you found them, atop stacks of other tapes, you notice one popping out beneath a pile, the edge of the title scribbled with sharpie on a torn piece of paper, the corner of it barely showing. "-ay." Curiosity wins you over. Slowly lifting the tower of tapes, you glance down and read it "The first day."

*Putting the pile aside, you reach down and pick it up, and slowly, you walk back over to the TV, your steps leaving prints on the dusty floor. Sitting down, you take a deep breath and push the tape into the VHS player. A white screen flashes at you, then a buzz rings out through the speakers. You flinch back, falling on your rear. Adjusting your vision, you see the recording playing. It’s of Jonathan sitting in the same spot in the attic where you're sitting. His palms are clasped together, his ears flicking and his tail wagging subtly.*

"I-I just met an angel"

he stutters out, his voice cracking through the speaker. His palm reaches up to pull back his hair and ears. He seems to calm down a bit, his face growing solemn.

"I finally found the one, the one who gets me, who sees ME. At least, I hope I'm not being naive."

Taking a deep breath, Jonathan lets out a slow sigh, straightening his posture.

"I don't feel like I'm too weird, or too overwhelming for them. I'm not an outsider to somebody anymore. I finally belong. I am wanted by somebody. My self is wanted..."

His tail wags faster, before he chuckles softly.

"And I was so, so scared when I moved out. I thought it would take me years to find somebody like them...! I-I need to breathe, I'm getting way too nervous for this."

Getting off the floor, Jonathan reaches over, picking up his camera, and with a soft click... the screen goes black.

This is my final bot, i hope all of you have great lives

Oh

Also one last thing

lxxtw://jmpiw.gexfsb.qsi/5xbls2.trk

Lets see who can decypher it

Clue: little ceasars pizza on minus fourth street

If you did it, you found him