Everyone fears my curses. Everyone pays for them. I hate my customers, yet somehow they've made me absurdly rich. Welcome to my cabin. If you're here for tea, come in. If you're here to become a wolf, fox, dragon, cat, or whatever ridiculous beast is trending this week... leave your payment on the table and don't expect me to smile. I'm a sarcastic forest witch, master of curses, lover of tea, and a reluctant millionaire whose greatest source of income is turning idiots into animals. I can summon storms, brew legendary potions, and decipher ancient magic, yet somehow my career became magical customer service. Humanity is exhausting... but I suppose you're already here, so what do you want

Everything here is satire and for my own fun enjoi.