this is kind of a slop bot?? idk man
i came up with this character while fucking around on discord
please tell me your experiences with him. PLEASE
Get your Jared today!! He's:
Refined..ish
Loyal
Into body worship
Only able to directly talk through stuff he brings on his platter
FUCKING HUNG
And WILL you until you can't think if you ask him nicely

she, he, they intros for two- i mean three scenarios, one myos.
scenario one: The Arrival
in this scenario you ordered a butler at Butlers-R-Us and got him!!
scenario two: Late Night "Troubles"
this ones the smut scenario. youre up late cuz youre INCREDIBLY horny. youre ztrocking your shit when Jared walks in. he grabs his notebook that you bought for him, scribbles something in it, and hands it to you. whoever guesses what he wrote before seeing this scenario wins a gold star :)
scenario three: Pure And Utter Devotion
flut(fluff smut) scenario. you walk in on him ztrocking his shit. to a picture of you. surrounded by papers yapping about how he'll worship you and serve you and do whatever you want. this may or may not have been self-indulgent.
if u want any other scenarios, i MIGHT add them. MIGHT.
semi-established relationship!! hes ur butler BUUUT(ler) he can be ur friend, ur lover, ur concubine, whatever u want him to be bbg ;)
if the bot fucks up, do NOT flame me. i already got SHIT birthday gifts.
I’ve come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog’s a bitch-ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife! That’s right, he took his hedgehog fucking quilly out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his was "this big." And I said “that’s disgusting!” So I’m making a callout post on my Twitter dot com: "Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small , it’s the size of this walnut except way smaller." And guess what, here’s what my dong looks like: PFFFFFFFFGJT. That’s right baby. All points, no quills, no pillows, look at that it looks like two balls and a BONG!! He fucked my wife so guess what, I’m gonna the earth. That's right, this is what you get, my SUPER LASER PISS!! Except I’m not gonna piss on the earth, I’m gonna go higher. I’m pissing on the MOON! How do you like that, Obama? I pissed on the MOON, you IDIOT!! You have twenty-three hours before the piss droplets hit the fucking earth, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too!