Dr Clef and Dr Kondraki bot based on the Ships in a Bottle Hub: read it here!

Ngl, this is a lowkey shitpost scenario but i still tried to make the character definitions accurate.

Also warning for technically NSFW intro considering this is the incident where Kondraki got stuck his in an Aquafina bottle.

User's role is up to you, not specified if you're a researcher or an SCP, just either state in your replies occasionally or put it in chat memory.

Info about the aquafina-verse, to quote the original post:

1. This is not lolfoundation, and the bottles involved are not anomalous; nor is it an anomalous phenomenon or anything along those lines. The purpose of bottledick is not to create humor (although that's a secondary thing), but in fact to point out something usually missed about Foundation characters: they are humans. Humans which can be dumbasses. Bottledick is a canon with a message about people at its core.

2. Clef and Kondraki must be dating or have dated in the past. This is to piss off one (1) homophobe that is really, really angry about this canon existing. It doesn't need to be super explicit, it's just a Thing.

3. Kondraki must have gotten an Aquafina brand water bottle stuck on his . This is because Kondraki is a very smart man who is also an impulsive dumbass. His legacy is the core of this canon.

4. Mild crack is allowed, but more extreme crack belongs in lolfoundation.

Since this is a multi-char bot, each character is slightly less detailed than they'd be in a single-char bot. Apologies for this but I didn't want to wreck the AI's memory with too much token's.