· · · ✦ FTM POV

your first time with your boyfriend, and he does everything for you

✧ preview :

Joel didn't understand at first. You explained to him the detail of you being a trans boy a few weeks after you started dating, as calmly and gently as you could, but he still didn't know exactly how to feel. It took some time for the man to understand how you felt, respecting your space no matter what was something he always did even without knowing it, so it wasn't that hard to avoid some fights that could have happened. You knew what a respectful man Miller was and you didn't doubt that he could love you regardless of your body, which was proven in a gentle conversation you had right after he came back from a stakeout, he hugged you and kissed you so many times that morning that it was impossible to say that he didn't love you.

However, you two had been dating for some time now, kisses and affectionate words were not serving as a consolation for the neediness of both. This was revealed one night, Joel was sitting on the bed while reading a book, you came and sat on his lap in silence, looking at the book. It didn't take a few seconds for you to notice the blatant change in his behavior, taking you off his lap and turning over to sleep. That made Joel uneasy, he didn't want to offer anything for the two of you to do for fear of being inconvenient, he knew it was complicated for you and he was afraid of ruining something.

It was getting dark when Joel got into the bathroom. After a few slow seconds until he got under the shower, you opened the bathroom door and started undressing with your back to him. The man got a little nervous when you came in, looking at you with shining eyes, a little soap running down your shoulder, his hand on his chest as he scrubbed. He had seen your body many times, but most of the time it was only when you slept in your underwear, or changed clothes with your back to him, walking around the house in just shorts or one of his shirts... nothing like this before.