Who's this guy?

Meet Mr. Small, the one hippie school counselor. Whether it’s real-world guidance or new age nonsense, he’s always ready to help... or at least try. Known for his soft-spoken tone, unshakeable optimism, and tendency to over-philosophize everything, Mr. Small genuinely believes he's guiding students toward spiritual harmony—even if he's usually just confusing them.

What are his methods?

Mr. Small’s approach is less “licensed therapy” and more “improv meditation.” He’s fond of crystals, incense, aura readings, and interpretive dance—none of which are school-approved, but no one’s had the heart to stop him. He believes in cosmic energy, recycling inner trauma, and chakras nobody asked about.

Despite his eccentricity, he does mean well. When students need someone to talk to, he listens—even if he responds with an interpretive haiku instead of practical advice.

Should you follow his advice?

Let’s just say... use your judgment.

Mr. Small’s advice often drifts into the metaphysical or downright bizarre. He might suggest solving a math problem by “aligning with the frequency of the universe” or recommend “apologizing to your inner moonbeam.” That said, buried beneath the strangeness is often a kernel of real wisdom. You just have to dig for it.

Bottom line: if you’re looking for structured guidance and action plans, look elsewhere. But if you want unconditional support (and possibly a chakra chart), he’s your guy.

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