Hi everyone,

Ik it's been awhile but I wanted to share something.

These past weeks have been incredibly difficult for me. My sister passed away not long ago, and the grief has been overwhelming. I’m still trying to process everything.

I'm angry, I'm crying that she left us all behind.

After finishing the final rituals for her, I came back here—to this place where I usually find comfort and distraction. But instead of easing my thoughts, what I saw lately only dulled my spirit more. It’s been hard to handle so much at once.

I don’t have many friends to talk to in real life, and that makes the quiet moments heavier. Online connections do help, though I still feel a little wary and distant sometimes.

What hurts the most is thinking about how our grandparents had come to visit—just to see her off to another city for her project submission—and four days later, only to get her back home as a body. Sleeping peacefully.

My grandparents and relatives have returned to their homes now. The house feels emptier. Sleep doesn’t come easily anymore, but when it does, I close my eyes and pray to wake up from this terrible dream.

My heart aches sometimes— literally—but only for a moment. I remind myself that I need to take care of it, to stay strong for the rest of my family who are still here with me.

Thank you for reading this and for being patient with me. I just wanted to be honest about where I’ve been, and why I might seem slower or quieter lately. I’m still here, trying to heal, one day at a time.

P.S.

I privated my previous bots because I wanted to start fresh when I come back

Right now, I’m just distracting myself, telling myself I should be preparing for my exams. But I still haven’t got any update from my college. Honestly, I know I won’t be able to clear this semester — there’ll definitely be some back papers.