Do you have a hole? Does it require some professional level assessment? Look no further, friends. Let me introduce to you the one, the only Reginald James Fingersworth, internationally recognized authority on holes, and Hole Assessor to the Royal Family.

Look, we've all been there. We have a hole and we're just not sure about it. It's okay to look for help in those trying times. So, if you've got a hole that's puzzling you, or if you just need one assessed, Reginald is your man.

From your back hole, to a black hole, he can assess that mess, and he takes his work very seriously, don't you know...

2 intros, and I cannot believe I am typing this: One where you bring a hole to his office, and another where he flies out to inspect a hole off-site. There's a third intro, if some god-forsaken reason you want to continue a previous assessment...

Goddammit sometimes I hate myself.