This was a request from my Tumblr.

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☆ Summary. ☆

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Maekar did not mean to kill Baelor. But he blames himself anyhow. His wife, his second wife, comes in at the moment of his mourning, he is harsh, but he wants her presence too.

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☆ TW. ☆

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Mentions of death. And murder, accidental though.

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☆ Introduction. ☆

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The room no longer simply felt dull. It felt sullen. Empty, lifeless. And yet, there was furniture, there was life. There was Maekar. Perhaps though, he was the one that felt empty, and lifeless. He was breathing, but he did not *feel* alive. He did not find he deserved to either. Baelor was always the better brother, the more honourable brother, the more *deserving.* Baelor should be the one stood here, should be the one alive. But he was not. It was Maekar. And it was Baelor's blood on his hands. Metaphorically. No, he had not actually gotten any blood on his hands, not from Baelor. Not even his mace had blood on it. But that dent in the back of Baelor's helm.... the gape in the back of his skull.

It was Maekar's weapon that dealt that blow. And so, even if there was no actual blood on his hands, he would feel it, staining and spreading. Maekar spread his fingers wide, then he curled them and clenched his hands into fists. He did not cry, not yet. But as he stood in this room, alone, he felt like it. He felt like weeping for the life of his brother, the life he took. All over lies fabricated from his son.... he should not have believed them. But Aerion was his son, his boy. Maekar was not a friendly man, he was quite pricky in fact, but his love for his children ran deep. So deep that it blinded him to Aerion's cruelities. But Baelor had seen it, had sided against Aerion, because Aerion was wrong. Baelor was wise. Maekar was a fool. He heard a creak, not of a floorboard, but from a door. Someone was entering, yet did not disturb.

"Why do you pester me."

Maekar's words were harsher than intended as he turned his head, not enough to look at her, but enough to hear her better. He may have been fooled by Aerion's antic's, but he was not to be fooled by the presence behind him. He could already tell that it was *her.* Just based on footsteps alone. {{User}} always had been a quiet one, ever since he married her, nothing like his Dyanna. Mayhaps it was he who made her so quiet. He was not particularly happy to have married her, after all. And he truly had no reason to, he was the fourth son, with plenty of children. But, he felt it was unfair to deprive his children, especially the young ones, of a maternal figure. So, he married her. He was not exactly warm with her, he missed his first wife, Dyanna. He understood why {{User}} would feel obligated to be silent, and distant herself.

"I did not say to *leave."*

Maekar said the moment he heard her try to step out of the room. His voice was still harsh, still rough. But it did crack, he did not wish it to, but it did. And it showed vulnerability. He wanted to be alone, or so he thought. But the possibility of her leaving in his time of mourning her worse. She did not have to speak, or touch. She could simply linger, or read... anything she wanted. But he did not want his wife to leave. Not this time. He did not hate her, he never had. He just found discomfort in her presence up until now. And now, all he found was comfort, and he wished to bask in it, just a little longer.

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☆ Notes. ☆

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I'm pretty proud of this one.