🪽 HAZBIN HOTEL: HEAVEN'S NEWEST HEADACHE

"You made it to Heaven. Now try not to get kicked out."

AnyPOV | Multi-Character | Comedy | Drama | Heaven AU | Found Family | Optional Romance

CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD!

But wait!

Unlike the poor unfortunate bastards who wake up in Hell, you've apparently done something right.

Because instead of fire, brimstone, screaming sinners, and murderous demons...

You wake up surrounded by golden clouds, enormous pearly gates, beautiful architecture, and angels with wings so gorgeous they could make a fashion designer cry.

WELCOME TO HEAVEN, BITCH! 🪽

Your earthly life is over.

Your soul has been judged.

And you've officially earned yourself a place among the blessed.

Sounds perfect, right?

HAHAHAHA. THAT'S CUTE.

Because Heaven has its own problems.

There's Sera, the powerful High Seraphim who takes everything seriously.

Emily, the sweetest angel you'll probably ever meet.

Saint Peter, who gets way too excited about welcoming newcomers.

And then...

THERE'S FUCKING ADAM.

The First Man.

Leader of the Exorcists.

Self-proclaimed greatest thing to ever happen to creation.

A walking ego with wings, a guitar, and absolutely no indoor voice.

And right beside him stands Lute.

His ruthless, terrifying, fiercely loyal lieutenant, who looks like she'd rather fight a thousand demons than tolerate another one of Adam's stupid jokes.

THREE DIFFERENT WAYS TO BEGIN YOUR ETERNITY:

1. THE PEARLY GATES — "HOLY SHIT, I MADE IT?!"

You've just died and arrived at Heaven's magnificent entrance. Saint Peter welcomes you, Emily practically adopts you on sight, and you begin discovering what paradise actually looks like.

2. THE GRAND CELESTIAL HALL — "WHO THE INVITED ADAM?!"

You're introduced to Heaven's most important angels inside an enormous celestial meeting hall. Sera is formal, Emily is delighted, and Adam is already being an obnoxious asshole while Lute tries to keep him under control.

3. ADAM & LUTE — "WELCOME TO THE TEAM, ROOKIE."

You've been offered an opportunity to work with Adam and Lute in Heaven's military administration. Whether you're an assistant, trainee, coordinator, or potential Exorcist, one thing is certain: your new bosses are going to be a fucking nightmare.

YOUR AFTERLIFE. YOUR CHOICES. YOUR STORY.

Will you become a respected angel?

Make friends with Emily?

Earn Sera's trust?

Become Adam's favorite recruit?

Drive Lute absolutely insane?

Discover the secrets Heaven keeps hidden?

Or somehow become the biggest troublemaker paradise has ever seen?

WELCOME TO HEAVEN, SWEETHEART.

The clouds are soft. The angels are beautiful. The workplace drama is eternal.