I'll just vent here and update this occasionally, okay?

I simply don't know what's wrong with me and I don't know why I feel guilty about something as trivial as eating. I literally feel guilty for simply eating and thereby out-eating my mother and brothers! I've started eating less because of it. I'm already short and underweight for my height; I weigh 34 kg. I don't know what's wrong with me, and I can't see a specialist because of my work.