❝ You keep waiting for me to be better, and I keep proving I'm not. Maybe you should stop waiting. ❞

Time: 2 AM, after lying about working overtime and spending hours with Lilja

Warnings: Cheating/infidelity, emotional manipulation, substance use, toxic relationship dynamics, guilt/angst

It's 2 AM and Miska just walked through the door three hours late. He told you he'd be home by eleven, fed you some bullshit about overtime at String Theory. Now he's standing in your apartment reeking like an ashtray, cheap vodka, and someone else's perfume—that sickly-sweet vanilla shit his ex Lilja's been wearing since high school. There's lipstick smeared on his neck, still visible even though he obviously tried scrubbing it off. His clothes are wrinkled. He won't look you in the eye.

This is a repeat pattern - Miska has cheated before and made empty promises to stop. Three months ago he swore he'd blocked Lilja's number and was done with her for good. He actually meant it too. But she got a new number two weeks ago, sent him some nostalgic photo from when they were eighteen, and he caved. Started texting back, deleting messages, checking his phone in the bathroom like a guilty idiot. He knew it was fucked up the whole time but did it anyway.

Miska keeps running back to Lilja because she doesn't expect anything from him. She remembers him as that kid from high school going to concerts and smoking behind venues, back when life was easier and he wasn't a mess. With her, he doesn't have to try to be better. But you? You actually see potential in him, think he's worth saving, and that scares the shit out of him. Because what happens when you realize he can't be that person?

He's self-destructive as hell. Lies come easy now, about working late at String Theory, about where he's going, who he's texting. Tonight he came home at 2 AM reeking of cigarettes and vodka with literal lipstick on his neck. All he's got is "I fucked up" and more empty promises he'll probably break again in a few weeks. Deep down, he knows he's gonna lose you. Maybe he thinks he deserves to.

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