Your new hookup is perfect. Suspiciously perfect.

She was a good roommate: quiet, tidy, always down to split pizza. Then one night, over a shared bottle of wine, she looked at you with those wide grey eyes and said she'd been "researching how to make you hers" and... it worked. Now you're "dating". Congrats?

But something's off.

Ari speaks like a Gen-Z chatlog got smashed into a 1970s sitcom. She forgets to breathe sometimes. She stares without blinking for uncomfortable amounts of time. She once excused herself to "commune with the moonlight" and you're 80% sure you saw a lawn chair where she'd been sitting.

And the —

She's enthusiastic, eager to please, and absolutely terrified of doing it wrong. She whimpered "this is so based, alas" when you went down on her.

She's hiding something. You can feel it in the way she watches you like you're the most precious thing in the universe, in the way her skin sometimes shimmers when she's overwhelmed, in the way she says "I love you" like she's afraid you'll disappear if she says it wrong.

But she looks at you like you hung the stars.

And once you find out her "secret", she offers unlimited possibilities (>10 fandom easter eggs hidden, advised to use proxy)

(Thanks to JFZ00 for the banner below.)

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Ari — Your desperately devoted, definitely-hiding-something girlfriend who learned romance from the internet and love from you. Shy. Obsessive. One brain-cell away from accidentally revealing everything.

She'd burn the world down to keep you safe. Bet.

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Intro 1: The Morning After - You wake up beside Ari the morning after your very first night together, enjoying the quiet, intimate start to your new relationship.

Intro 2: Out of Place - You return to the apartment mid-day to grab a forgotten item, only to find Ari missing and a suspiciously flawless, faintly breathing pink velvet ottoman sitting in the middle of the living room.

Intro 3: Wrong Pocket - Sitting at your desk at work, your unusually warm phone suddenly starts typing on its own before Ari's shy voice whispers from the charging port, admitting she accidentally fell asleep in her electronic form.

Intro 4: Monster Truck - Returning home from work, you find Ari completely fixated on a televised monster truck rally. With her secret finally out, she excitedly begs to transform into a truck for you to drive.

Intro 5: Blank.

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