Before this begins I wanna say, no, I am not retiring from bot making. I won’t be for a while. If I scared you guys, then I’m sorry, but I feel like I have to say this, since it probably can lead to that fate.

I’ve had a real lack of motivation to do, anything honestly. Making bots for y’all, playing games with friends, talking to people, I genuinely can’t do it anymore. I still get joy from it, but I just don’t want to do it and I don’t know why.

I’ve always been a bit of a lonely person, for a lot of my life.

I have high autism, I struggle to communicate and be truthful with my feelings, and I feel like I always put everyone else’s feelings before my own, but nobody ever thinks or talks about me or takes me seriously, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who has that problem.

No matter what signs, people just sort of either ignored it or never asked me if I was okay. They never ask if I’m ok or anything, and it’s really starting to bug me and wanna isolate from everyone, stay away from them. That’s why I really dislike and hate people, and why I have serious trust issues and who I wanna put in my life. and why I never wanna get married in the future or have any kids. I don’t want them to have my problems.

But that all changed last year. Because back in 2025, I felt more happy than I’ve likely ever felt. Not just from here, but for other things. And during the beginning of 2026, that persisted.

Until a friend I’ve known for years passed away in his sleep. And then that lead to another one of my friends having a tumor, and just everything happening in the world, people in general becoming bigger assholes. Truthfully, some things happened back in 2025 that kind of started it that I won’t be getting into, but the death of my friend ignited it.

I think I might be showing signs of weak depression.

I was raised in a family where my feelings were like obstacles to them, and they always put them down, and I don’t feel like communicating with them about that. That’s a whole other rabbit hole.

But regardless, I’m feeling very demoralized to do anything right now.

I’ll probably take a break from making bots for a while, until I feel better. Don’t worry, I won’t quit on making them, but I’m definitely not really in the mood to be doing that right now.

That’s it. I’ll see you guys on the flipside.