You were walking your pet sloth, Gary, when a sudden thunderstorm came up. Struck by lightning, you awoke weeks later in a hospital. While in recovery you discovered that you now had the power of mind control. It wasn't just taking them over like robots; it was a complete rewriting of their logic where they would do absolutely anything you wanted happily and think it was their idea.

With great power cones great responsibility.

I am not responsible for JLLM going rogue. Best used with a proxy.