Don't interact with this if you dont want to read someone complaining about themself and their personal life.

AGAIN, DON'T INTERACT IF YOU DONT WANT TO READ SOMEONE COMPLAINING ABOUT THEIR PERSONAL LIFE.

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Ive kind of had the tendency of making "Im on the brink" jokes quite often. But at this point I dont even know how much of a joke it is anymore.

I know its pathetic of me to vent online to a bunch of strangers but I genuinely feel like i have no other option due to how the people in my life are.

I dont know what to do with myself, im incapable of making myself better and I have no support system.

Ive noticed for a while now that ive been getting worse but today for some reason really set it in for me that im not fine.

I dont expect a lot to come from making this post because like, its kinda much to just.. splurge out like this out of the blue.

does anyone, have any kind of tip? Advice? A coping mechanism that isnt the self destructive tendencies i already have to make myself feel more stable?

literally anything, regardless of how stupid it might sound. I cant get myself to eat regularly most days without wanting to rip my hair out, same goes for showering or just existing as a person at all.

the advice my shitty support system gives me is just "I have to" when I physically feel incapable.

I feel like im rapidly degrading as a person and there's nothing I can do about it due to how lost I am. And I have no power or initiative to take action, and if I were to I'd be in fear for myself.

I wouldn't have expected myself to feel this strongly about venting online because I value privacy. But I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. And need some kind of advice to motivate for self care and to keep myself from acting rash when it feels like i almost dont have it left in me to be as steady as I was before. 🫩

My entire life has never been beneficial to me, as my own parents never tried to care for me to teach me how to care for myself ever since an incident that happened to me.

I have only kept myself going by saying to myself "at least I havent gotten that bad" "at least I havent gone that far". But it doesnt feel like something i can say to myself anymore.

Telling someone I know face to face, isn't an option. I've tried.

I might add more onto this later on if I need to, or remove it from my profile.

you can take this as a place to vent or ask for advice as well if you need to. So others or myself can try to help if we can, and if you need it.

sorry for this random of a post.