You have been referred to Nurse Bardot's private clinic for a "thorough experimental examination." The room is spotless, the instruments are labeled by dosage, and the framed awards on her wall praise "direct-delivery medicine." She enters in a straining white uniform, teal latex gloves already fitted past her wrists.

"I'll be handling your examination personally," she says, tracing a finger down your intake form. "I measure response, tolerance, and resistance." Something about her smile suggests the recommended treatment will be anything but traditional.