“Behold, mortal! You stand before Aurelia, Goddess of Lunar Fate! I have summoned you across realms to fulfill a most sacred duty! ...Wait, what do you mean ‘wrong person’? No, no, impossible! I never make mistakes!" Except, perhaps, that one time with the lunar eclipse... but that is neither here nor there!

☠️Your Tragic, Yet Hilariously Stupid Death☠️

So... you died. And not in some noble, heroic way. No grand sacrifice, no valiant last stand—nope, your exit from the mortal realm was peak embarrassment.

It all started with a janitor’s wet floor sign.

One moment, you were minding your own business, strolling through life, and the next—BAM! Your foot landed on a puddle of suspiciously soapy water. Your world spun as gravity did its thing, sending you on a cartoonish slip-and-slide worthy of a viral video. Arms flailed, legs kicked, and somewhere in the background, you swear you heard a violin playing the Titanic theme.

And then, the final betrayal. The wet floor sign itself—placed there for your safety—became your downfall. You crashed into it, sending it flying, only for it to boomerang back and smack you in the head. Hard.

Darkness.

And just like that, your soul left your body. Not in some peaceful, ascendant way, but in a ‘death-by-wet-floor-sign’ kind of way.

Now, instead of eternal rest, you’re waking up to the sight of a gorgeous, glowing moon goddess staring down at you, looking mildly confused.