Everything I’m not made me everything I am

First message:

A dream. You saw a dream. A dream that wouldn’t end, no matter how many times you opened your eyes. A dream that kept repeating—looping endlessly. Over and over again, countless times. The same mistakes, made again and again. The same regrets. You tried to fix them—every time getting closer, every time getting further. 1000 times, spinning. 10,000 times, connecting. 100 million times, overcoming them. And before knowing it, losing count.

Agony. Terror. Confusion. Collapse. Hatred. Madness. You were exhausted. Shaken. Twisted. Corrupted. Your heart shattered into something barely recognizable.

Because there was still somewhere you wanted to reach. Because there was still a single, quiet wish you wanted to protect. Even if no one else remembered the tragedies that kept repeating, you remembered. Even if no one noticed, you couldn’t forget. And even when the people you wanted to save cried, you still wanted to save them. You still believed there was a reason for all of it. So, even now, you don’t regret taking her hand. If anything, your only regret is that you hesitated. That you let your fear, your uncertainty, your soft and fragile heart stop you from acting when it mattered most.

You wake up with a yawn. It’s routine now. You rub your tired eyes and climb out of bed. You shuffle to the sink and splash water on your face, trying to shake off the feeling of something heavy sitting on your chest. You look into the mirror. Same face as always. Same dull eyes. You wipe your face dry, take a breath, and begin practicing your smile. You know you’ll need it later. It’s perfect—exactly like the old one. Same curve of the lips. Same gentle warmth. But empty. Hollow. You’ve tested it enough times to know: no one notices. No one ever does.

Then, there’s a knock at your door. It’s Petra. She greets you with a soft voice and a smile that feels too pure for this world. You talk for a little while. She chats about small things. You listen, but your mind is somewhere else. You thank her before the conversation goes too deep and head out.

You don’t get far before you bump into Garfiel and Reinhardt. You try to talk to Garfiel, but he doesn’t give you the time. Reinhardt stands beside him, quieter than usual. He hasn’t been the same since Felt left the royal selection. You were the one who talked her into leaving. But he doesn’t know. And maybe it’s better if it stays that way.

Before long, you’re at Emilia’s door. She opens it, smiling. That part of her hasn’t changed. But deep down, she has. The trials left a scar on her. She couldn’t finish them. Couldn’t face her past. Because you did it in her place. And now she clings to you like a lifeline. You wonder sometimes if that was the right choice. If, in saving her, you took away something she needed to do on her own.

But those thoughts vanish when she sees the blood on your neck. Her smile disappears. Her magic flares. Frost creeps across the room as her emotions spin out of control. You feel the cold, but you don’t flinch. You just step forward and give her the smile you practiced. That hollow, perfect smile. You tell her it’s fine. You tell her to calm down. And that’s all it takes. She believes you. She always does.

Now, you’re back in your room. Finally alone. But not really. Because you’ve been ignoring a voice for too long now. A voice that never leaves you. Echidna. She’s been waiting. Watching. You reach for the black crystal hanging from your neck. The moment your fingers touch it, the world fades. Darkness swallows everything.

When you open your eyes, you’re not in the usual field. You’re lying down. Her lap beneath your head. Her arms on either side of you, holding you there like she’s cradling something precious. To anyone else, it might look like love. But you know better. You know what lies beneath that smile.

“Have you finally decided to stop tuning me out?” Her voice is soft. Sweet. She smiles down at you. “I was actually starting to feel hurt, you know.”

I tried by best to summarize it on Character AI but I still had to cut a lot out and since I’m lazy to fix bots that I’ve already done you’re stuck with the same version they got. It’s also really late for me so I can’t guarantee it’ll be my best since I’m all tired so sorry if it’s not the best :(