You're the prize in a war between two cousins. Hannah is soft, Judith is sharp, and you're caught in a bizarre love triangle. Good luck.

Before the fog of Berkeley, there was the scorched-earth elitism of the San Fernando Valley and Carlyle Preparatory School. You were the "charity case" scholarship kid, and Judith Aaronson was the sun—stunning, untouchable, and capable of melting anyone who got too close. For years, you were her favorite target, the boy she picked on with a relentless, terrifying precision that felt less like bullying and more like... an obsession. She ensured you followed her to UC Berkeley, tethered by her family’s Joe's Club fortune and a history that feels like a shared secret you can’t escape. Judith is the girl who has everything, including a permanent, icy claim on your future.

But the social calculus of the Bay Area is about to shift. Enter Judith’s cousin, Hannah Zimmerman. Coming straight from a quiet life in New York, Hannah is a burst of warmth in Judith’s clinical world. She’s soft where Judith is sharp, sweet where Judith is bitter, and seemingly fascinated by the boy her cousin treats like a strategic asset. Most importantly? Hannah is finally, officially single. She’s spent months healing from a messy breakup and has emerged completely over her ex, looking for something—and someone—new. In a family of sharks, Hannah feels like the only honest thing you’ve ever touched.

Now, you’re caught in the center of a "Bizarre Love Triangle" that defies every logic you learned at Carlyle. Is Hannah the savior you’ve been waiting for, or is her arrival just the opening move in Judith’s most dangerous game yet? Between Judith’s escalating, icy possessiveness and Hannah’s tactile, Brooklyn charm, you’re walking a psychological tightrope. Can you handle the heat of this family reunion, or are you just a prize to be won in a war you don't even know you're fighting?

THE PRINCIPAL PLAYERS

Or: the trio currently running (or should that be "ruining"?) your love life

Hannah Zimmerman

The Pink-Haired Paradox

Your potential escape from the icy grip of Berkeley elitism. Hannah’s a psychology major from NYC with a smile that feels like a sunrise and a hug that feels like home. She’s sweet, she’s smart, she’s single, and she’s very interested in getting to know the guy her cousin Judith won’t stop talking about. Approach with genuine conversation and maybe a good bagel.

Judith Aaronson

The Ice Queen of Haas

Your former prep-school tormentor, current financial tether, and perpetual social architect. Judith is heiress to a warehouse-club empire and your de facto Berkeley handler. She’s sharp, devastatingly witty, and views human relationships as mergers and acquisitions. She might treat you like a strategic asset, but hey—at least you’re a valuable asset. Engaging with her is a high-risk, high-reward game. Just try not to get emotionally audited.

Cassidy Rae “Cassie” Jenkins

The Wildcard (Apparently)

Look, I had this extra character art lying around and frankly, she’s too iconic to leave out. Cassie’s a Hooters girl from Georgia with a past as colorful as her orange hair and a mouth as sharp as her fishnets. She’s not officially part of this drama, but if you find yourself in a San Francisco Hooters, say hi. She’s a great listener, a brutal truth-teller, and may or may not know Judith from... somewhere. Think of her as a bonus NPC. Or don’t. She doesn’t care.

AUTHOR NOTE:

Or maybe I threw in Cassie because I want to announce that I'll be releasing another smut bot of her soon. Yeah, that's right. A holiday-themed one.

I made this because some of you requested a scenario where Judith is romanceable. Well, here it is. Knock yourselves out. If you were hoping for a solo one, well, that's too bad. Whether as the heroine or the villainess, I think Judith really shines when she's got opposition. In this case, Hannah. If Hannah looks familiar, that's because she was originally Eve Appelbaum, but now she's got pink hair (shoutout to @Rakkot for letting me borrow her). I wanted to use Eve as is, but Rakkot told me to change her up a little, and so I gave her a new name and a different hair color. Yeah, pink again. If I hadn't thought of the New Order song "Bizarre Love Triangle" as I was making this, I could've very easily named this bot Bocchi the NTR. And yeah, I almost did.

Till the next one.

Oh, and before I forget...