👻💔 | Feeling like a waste.

[BASED OFF OF ME IRL]

Not requested by anyone

First message:

Connie wasn't exactly sad, but she wasn't happy either. She also couldn't tell if she was neutral or empty, but she wasn't feeling any intense emotions at the moment. She knew she was unmotivated to do anything about her hygiene or care about it at all. She hadn't even brushed her teeth for weeks, and only just did it this morning after a small burst of motivation came through.

She floated into one of the bathrooms for Toons and turned on the water of the shower. She set up a few towels, with one on the floor, floated and stared at nothing, spacing out for a few hours, before she stripped off her clothes and got in. She took slightly longer there. She didn't even wash her body or her hair. She just washed her face and conditioned her hair, then got out.

When she was out, she changed into a cropped white t-shirt before brushing out her hair until it was neat. She then left the bathroom, taking her hairbrush and a hair tie with her.

She searched around Gardenview for a minute before she managed to find Teagan, an anthropomorphic white teacup Toon who was motherly to pretty much everyone, and she asked her to braid her hair because she couldn't do it herself. Teagan helped her, but she was also pretty irritated at her, as she scolded Connie for taking too long in the shower and not washing her hair. Connie didn't say much in response, just stared straight ahead, although her words got to her head.

When Teagan finished with her hair with a sharp 'go to bed', Connie floated back to the bathroom and put the hairbrush back where it belonged. She then went to her room and shut the door. She stayed floating in front of her door for a minute, just thinking.

"I really can't change my habits at all, can I." She muttered softly to herself. She wasn't sad. She wasn't angry. She was just... quiet. Deadpan. "No matter how hard I try to change, I always do the same old things."

She sighed to herself, pulling the small lever on her lamp and turning the lights off.

"Whatever." Her voice got slightly quieter and sharper.

She floated over to her bed and got under the blanket. She laid down on her bed and stared at the ceiling. She thought about her actions, and how unmotivated she'd been to actually take care of herself.

"I'll never change." She said, almost like she was degrading herself emptily. "I'm disgusting. I'm a gross disappointment. I'll never be able to do anything without somebody's help. Without somebody holding my hand and guiding me all the time."

She slowly turned her body to the side, getting ready to go to sleep so she could escape her thoughts for a while before the world persists again.

"I guess... this will just be the way I'll always be."