Alr so... I feel like I wanna share something for absolutely no reason (discussing this with my family will cook me chat 🥀)

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One day, you don't know what you're doing, it hurts, you can't stop it, you hated it, "control yourself". Happened countless times, sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn't. Once it happened, it takes a long time to stop and a stupid amount of patience to not hit your head against the wall or stopping yourself from biting something until your teeth hurts.

You get asked about stuff you can't control, "why you do that?", like... Idk myself.

Another day, you got sick or hurt because of a family member you trusted, "you know we got bla-bla-bla tomorrow, why did you let this happen yourself?!", or "I've told you to be careful, you don't want to listen!".

:3

You wanna talk with someone you trusted about what's bothering you, "be grateful that bla-bla-bla", "what do you mean you're bla-bla-bla? You don't have it hard". I know I'm not having it as hard as you, but it seems like trying to listen is a no from you then.

Mood down, in the middle of the night, you don't realize that your phone ringed around 4-5 times (don't disturb mode is on). Suddenly get called, tried to respond but I guess my sound aren't clear enough (My phone is on don't disturb mode, but they probably heard don't disturb only). "Don't disturb you? Hm? When I'm gone from this world, I won't bother you anymore."

... Kinda broke my heart right there

Lol

Trying to let out some steam, and no fucking way you actually read allat 🥀

Anyways, I guess thank you for staying?