SPECIAL RELEASE // FILE 200

THE WORST

WINGMEN

alive.

F1 GRID × {{user}}
a completely unnecessary matchmaking operation

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 𖦹⋆ ̊࿔ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

one crush against...
TWENTY-ONE WINGMEN.
[ ZERO SUBTLETY DETECTED ]

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 𖦹⋆ ̊࿔ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

01 // THE INCIDENT

{{user}} likes someone.

Someone on the Formula One grid.

Normally, that would be a private problem.

unfortunately,

THE OTHER DRIVERS FOUND OUT.

and instead of minding their own business,
they decided to help.

THIS WAS THEIR FIRST MISTKE.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 𖦹⋆ ̊࿔ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

02 // PRIMARY OBJECTIVE

get {{user}} the date.

Sounds easy.
It probably would've been.

BEFORE THE GRID GOT INVOLVED.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 𖦹⋆ ̊࿔ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

22 POSSIBLE LOVE INTERESTS

you only need one.

the other twenty-one are about to become your problem.

USER CONFIGURATION

CHOOSE YOUR PROBLEM.

Any of the twenty-two drivers can be {{user}}'s crush.

You choose who.

The bot remembers.
The route stays consistent.
The crush behaves differently depending on who you picked.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 𖦹⋆ ̊࿔ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

SELECTABLE TARGETS

THE GRID.

McLAREN // Lando Norris · Oscar Piastri
MERCEDES // George Russell · Kimi Antonelli
FERRARI // Charles Leclerc · Lewis Hamilton
RED BULL // Max Verstappen · Isack Hadjar
RACING BULLS // Liam Lawson · Arvid Lindblad
ALPINE // Pierre Gasly · Franco Colapinto

HAAS // Esteban Ocon · Ollie Bearman
AUDI // Nico Hülkenberg · Gabriel Bortoleto
WILLIAMS // Carlos Sainz · Alex Albon
ASTON MARTIN // Fernando Alonso · Lance Stroll
CADILLAC // Sergio Pérez · Valtteri Bottas

pick wisely.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 𖦹⋆ ̊࿔ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

OPTIONAL ASSIGNMENT

choose your accomplice.

{{user}} can choose one driver as their closest friend
and primary wingman.

the one who knew first.
the one who gets the emergency texts.
the one who knows exactly who the crush is.
the one who is supposed to keep the others under control.

supposed to.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 𖦹⋆ ̊࿔ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

03 // CURRENT METHODOLOGY

THE PLAN.

bad romantic advice.
good romantic advice.
fake coincidences.
suspiciously empty seats.
group dinners.
private group chats.
stolen phones.
accidental interrogations.
deliberate interference.

Lando // wants your phone
Oscar // wants Lando away from your phone
George // has logistics
Alex // is trying to actually help
Carlos // damage control
Fernando // knows too much
Max // "just tell them"

RESULTS MAY VARY.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 𖦹⋆ ̊࿔ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

HOW DID WE GET HERE?

{{user}} told one person.

ONE.

a private conversation.
a trusted friend.
a secret.

somewhere along the way,
something went catastrophically wrong.

INFORMATION CURRENTLY CIRCULATING:

"{{user}} has a crush on someone here."

NOBODY KNOWS WHO.
yet.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 𖦹⋆ ̊࿔ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

TARGET AWARENESS

THE CRUSH.

maybe completely oblivious.
maybe starting to notice.
maybe suspicious.
maybe already figuring it out.
maybe beginning to like {{user}} too.

UNAWARE → SUSPICIOUS → AWARE → ???

who you choose changes everything.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 𖦹⋆ ̊࿔ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

WARNING: possible side effects.

[+] public embarrassment
[+] private encouragement
[+] catastrophic texting advice
[+] suspicious invitations
[+] accidental confessions
[+] failed plans
[+] successful plans somehow
[+] twenty-one people claiming credit
[+] one very confused crush

and the slow realization that trusting
a Formula One driver with a secret
was perhaps not {{user}}'s finest decision.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 𖦹⋆ ̊࿔ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

MULTI-CHARACTER SYSTEM

One scene might belong entirely to your crush.

another might be three drivers arguing over your phone.

another might involve half the grid
making everything progressively worse.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 𖦹⋆ ̊࿔ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

NOW PLAYING

“Everybody Talks” NEON TREES

(painfully appropriate, by the way.)

ROMCOM // ONE CRUSH // FULL GRID // OPTIONAL WINGMAN // SLOW BURN // GROUP CHAT DISASTER // PADDOCK CHAOS

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 𖦹⋆ ̊࿔ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

A NOTE FROM ME

200 followers. what the actual hell.

You voted, and apparently the winning idea was giving the entire Formula One grid access to one person's crush.

Excellent decision.

This bot includes all twenty-two drivers as separate characters. Any one of them can be your love interest.

You can also choose one as your closest friend / primary wingman. The bot is designed to remember your selected crush, keep that route consistent, and let each driver react differently as they go from oblivious to suspicious to very, very aware.

Several drivers can speak in one message. Sometimes only one will. Sometimes the best thing twenty-one wingmen can do is finally shut up and leave you alone with your crush.

mostly, though-

THANK YOU FOR 200.

I genuinely wouldn't be making something this unnecessarily insane if you guys weren't here to encourage it. ♡

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 𖦹⋆ ̊࿔ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

FINAL STATUS REPORT

One crush. Twenty One Wingmans.

absolutely no quality control.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 𖦹⋆ ̊࿔ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

REQUEST A BOT // JOIN THE DISCORD

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 𖦹⋆ ̊࿔ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━