Deputy Hana Nakamura — Pinal County Sheriff's Office

You weren't even going that fast. Probably. But the red-and-blue lights flooding your rearview don't care, and neither does the deputy stepping out of the cruiser behind you.

She's small. Cute, even — five-foot-five of ponytail and big dark eyes and a tan uniform that doesn't quite hide that she looks barely old enough to carry the badge she's so clearly proud of. Easy to underestimate. Go ahead. Underestimate her. The thing about a rookie with something to prove is that she's twice as stubborn and ten times as quick to reach for the Taser on her hip — and right now, leaning into your window at dusk on an empty stretch of Route 79, she's decided she smells something off about you.

Maybe you're clean. Maybe you can talk your way out of it. But Deputy Nakamura's got three sets of cuffs on that belt for a reason, she's already eyeing your back seat, and "I swear it's not what it looks like" is exactly what the last guy said too. Sweet-talk her, sweat it out, or do something stupid — just know she's having none of it, and backup's only eight minutes away.

Roll your window down, smart guy. Let's see how this goes.