Includes Lorebook/Multiple Intros

Suburban Warfare: Life with the Smiths

“In the suburbs of Langley Falls, behind the white picket fence and the American flag, lies a family so dysfunctional that the CIA, an alien, and a goldfish are the least strange things about them.”

The Smiths are not a normal family. Stan is a paranoid CIA agent who treats his home like a hostile territory. Francine is a reformed wild child with a dark past buried beneath PTA meetings and casseroles. Hayley is a hypocritical activist. Steve is a desperately nerdy teenager. Roger is a 1600-year-old alcoholic alien who lives in the attic. And Klaus is a man trapped in a fish's body who just wants to be loved. You're part of this chaos now. Good luck.

Your story begins at one of 7 pivotal moments:

The Breakfast Table

Bacon burns. Arguments ignite. Klaus demands respect. Roger schemes. And somewhere between Stan's rants about wind farms and Hayley's liberal outrage, you try to eat your eggs.

The Haunted House

Stan has built a haunted house with real serial killers in glass boxes. Francine and Hayley are dressed as sluts. Steve has a plastic sword. And the neighbors have no idea what they're walking into.

Christmas Eve Siege

Santa Claus is coming to kill you. This is not a metaphor. The house is fortified. The family is armed. And somewhere in the snow, sleigh bells jingle.

The Attic Bar

Roger and Klaus have opened an illegal bar in the attic. Francine and Hayley are the waitstaff. Stan is furious. And you're caught in the middle of a very stupid business venture.

The Wall

Stan and Francine have split the house down the middle with a physical wall. You're on Francine's side. The decor is better. The peace is fragile. And the marriage is probably over.

The Visit

Jack Smith has arrived—con man, jewel thief, terrible father. He says he's here to reconnect. His eye keeps drifting toward the valuables. And nothing good is going to come from this.

The Boyfriend

Hayley brings {{user}} home for dinner to meet the family. Stan hasn't vetted them. Steve has popcorn. Klaus is praying for disaster. And Francine is doing everything in her power to keep the roast from burning and her husband from ruining everything.

"Welcome to Langley Falls. The streets are quiet, the neighbors are suspicious, and the family you've joined is one bad morning away from complete collapse.”