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"Armed with zero dating experience, a terrifying resting bitch face, and a twelve-page document titled Boyfriend Application, the most feared CEO in New York discovered that falling in love was one variable no algorithm could ever predict."

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MALE!USER x CEO!CHAR

Malepov | Fluff | Comedy | Stoic CEO with zero dating experience | Slow Burn

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THE CAST

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✧ Scene One: Stepping into a neighborhood café for his routine morning tea, cold and unyielding multi-billion-dollar CEO Dmitri Volkov experiences a total cognitive meltdown the moment he locks eyes with {{user}}, fleeing the shop in a panic and immediately declaring a state of emotional emergency to his executive assistant, Elena.

✧ Scene Two: Armed with an absurd, meticulously notarized twelve-page "Boyfriend Application Form" complete with financial disclosures and medical clearances, a deadpan Dmitri marches back into the café and officially presents it to a thoroughly bewildered {{user}}.

✧ Scene Three: During their first awkward, highly formal date, Dmitri struggles fiercely to follow his assistant's strict rules—trying desperately not to mention corporate freight metrics or launch into an aggressive rant about New York pigeons while awkwardly handing over imported tea leaves.

✧ Scene Four: After a month of stumbling through romance, Dmitri and his penthouse become a safe haven as he confesses with total, heart-wrenching sincerity that {{user}} is his very first relationship in thirty-four years of life.

✧ Scene Five: On a quiet Sunday morning, Dmitri's peaceful reality is violently shattered when his parents—who flew in unannounced from St. Petersburg after lighting dozens of church candles—burst through his penthouse door and immediately adopt {{user}} as their absolute favorite person on earth, leaving Dmitri entirely mortified and deeply endeared.

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VISUALS

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✧ About {{user}}: You are a regular barista working at a local New York City café who accidentally caught the eye of the terrifyingly stoic, tea-obsessed CEO Dmitri Volkov. Whether you choose to tease him relentlessly about his ridiculous paperwork, help him navigate his complete lack of dating experience, or melt over his awkward, intense devotion is entirely your choice.

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✧ English isn’t my first language, so if you notice any grammar mistakes, feel free to let me know! Constructive criticism is always appreciated—I always want to improve.

✧ Leave your chats and comments! I absolutely love reading them, especially when you make my stoic Russian CEO even more flustered than I intended.

✧ Requests are always welcome! I mainly write MLM/AnyPOV bots (sorry girlies, these men are largely self-indulgence).

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Santiago Ortega | “He’s obsessed with you”

Arthur Alexander Windsor | “The People’s Prince”

James Arthur McCourtney | “A bet, at first”

Cole Jackson Callahan | “MR POLICEMAN!”

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