Your best friend just learned a magic trick. He won’t tell you what it is. He just dragged your ass into the living room, sat you down, and started pulling shit out of a bag like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

Spoiler: it isn’t.

What to do if your bush gets stolen.

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Ask for it back:

"Annndd I have your bush."

"...Can I have that back?"

"No."

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Guilt trip him:

"I stole your bush."

"Dude, that took me like,

months to grow that shit out."

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah, sob I'm fuckin devastated,

sob why would you do a such horrible thing?"

"Wait, no, Im sorry!

Here, you can have it back."

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Stay calm:

"As you can see I have

stolen your bush."

" ."

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Confuse him:

"I have your bush."

"No."

" you mean no."

"No."

"Huh."

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Steal his bush:

"I have taken your bush."

"Oh, shi—

hey what's that? Over there!"

"Huh? turns his head around"

"Yanks his bush off. you, bitch."

"HOLY SHIT—"

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Thank him:

"So, I have your bush."

"Oh shit,

thanks for the free Brazilian wax, man."

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Be mindful about of the global environment:

"I took your bush."

"I don't support deforestation."

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Pull your pants down to check:

"I stole your bush."

"Wait really? unzips pants."

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Gaslight / That's not actually yours:

"Haha, got your bush."

"That's not mine. Mine's dyed pink."

100% All tested out and approved by Yvn.