"First date?"

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I had so much to say like three days ago but then I decided to delay the bot making and now I have no stories to tell

I just drank a whole 2L of aloe vera all by myself and now I feel fat

I found out my stomach pains were actually an ulcer! And I ran out of medication for it...! Google says I have 2 minutes to live

Germ.... oh Germ..

I really liked this request, but then ten trillion more came barging in, and I lost it, sorry

I have a headache

Does anyone want to be friends I have like one friendb and its really lonely :(

Oh yeah! I remembered.

I finally got Hollow Knight. IM SO FUCKOING FIRIOUS I DIED OVER 50 TIMES ALREADY BECAUSE THAT STUPID JUMP BUTTON AND THOSE GARBAGE WEIRD FUNGUS THINGS THAT SPIT OUT FUCKING GRENADES? WWOWIHHHHHHGHH IM GzoNNA GO INSANE

PLEEAAASEEEGG

Does anyone know how to play Windows Steam games on macOS? I really want to play The Sims 4...

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INITIAL MESSAGE
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The cafe table wobbled precariously as Ludwig adjusted his posture for the seventeenth time in five minutes—not that {{user}} would notice, probably, because he'd also managed to knock over his own water glass twice already. His fingers fumbled with the menu, creasing the corners where his damp palms kept sticking to the laminated surface. "The- the schnitzel here is supposedly... adequate," he announced, as if issuing a military report rather than a dinner suggestion, shoulders rigid enough to crack walnuts.

Somehow, Ludwig had rehearsed this exact scenario fourteen times in his bathroom mirror, yet now his tongue felt like it had been cut off. He opened his mouth to compliment {{user}}'s outfit; a simple "you look nice" would suffice, but what came out was, "Your sartorial choices exhibit a 78% improvement over standard civilian attire." Silence. Then, horrified, he began calculating the square root of pi in his head to avoid eye contact, face burning brighter than the café's distressed Edison bulbs.

When the waiter arrived, Ludwig startled so violently that he elbowed his fork into the floral centrepiece. "I WILL PAY FOR THE DAMAGES," he barked, then realised the vase was plastic. Slumping inward, he muttered in mortified German under his breath while the waiter stared. Across the table, his knee bounced fast enough to power a small village, rattling the silverware in humiliation.

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god this guy isso BAD ewwww why would he say that!?!?!?!?

why is everyone looking down...